Whew! Its been quite a while since I updated my blog. Well you can't blame me for not posting anything. That's because I don't have anything to blog about. If there'll be an award for the most uninteresting/purposeless/monotonous/utilitarian/meaningless life of a living person, I am an unquestionable winner.
I'M STILL A BIG NOBODY!Since my last post, I haven't found a job yet. My whole day revolves around the tv, our couch and my computer. The only time I go out is to have coffee with friends and just stay there until we bore each other and eventually end another mind-numbing, worthless day.
I've tried applying for tons of different jobs but I don't think the "big guy" wants me to work right now. I tried out for office works, call centers, even as a front desk receptionist. Still no luck. Just endless days of waiting for phone calls from the companies I applied for.
I passed my application in another Ortigas call center. I don't know if I'm a jinx or if fate really doesnt want me to be happy at all. I wasn't informed of the training schedule so I missed my first day. I called them up to ask if I can get differed to the next training batch but they just gave me a stupid answer that they still don't have the schedule for the next batch. I had a funny feeling that they were just making that up where in fact they just don't want to hire me because they think I'm just putting up a lame excuse because I was too lazy to go to work.
Fuck them all!Well I guess I was right. Nobody called me. Up until today. My friend who works there told me that training batches has an interval of 3-4 weeks. So I assumed by now they already have the exact date of the next wave of trainees. That made me wonder if I am simply unlucky or if that was part of God's plan. I really am very confused.
Confused and desperate.When I went to the Christmas mass with my family, I asked the Lord to give me an idea of what his plans are. I am kinda losing hope in finding a decent job and I'm also starting to feel uneasy about going to Law school. I know its wrong but during our class party, I got envy of most of my batch mates who are now earning their own dough. I felt so pathetic and desperate. I want to have a job at this instant!
Maybe the "big guy" is mad at me because I kept on refusing the blessings he was trying to hand me in the past. Or maybe I'm paranoid. Or maybe I'm just saying this because I am so desperate. Right now I really don't know. My life is just so messed up without any direction or goal. I feel lost. So lost.
jheng
blabbered @ 11:51:00 PM
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'TIS THE SEASON TO BE JOLLY!
