jheng's rainbow

Friday, February 25, 2005

THE BIG MOMENT

The big day had arrived. Yesterday was my thesis defense. I woke up really early (4 AM) for no apparent reason. It seemed like there was an invisible alarm clock telling me to get up and read (for the nth time) my entire thesis. I practiced for the last time the flow of my report then tried to pray before I took a bath. I also had a tough time in making up my mind what to wear. Good thing I was able to dress up at around 6 AM. I was planning to eat breakfast but my anxiousness prevented me to feel any hunger whatsoever. So I just headed off to school with a wobbly spirit.

Chen and I met at Chowking Dapitan at 8 then I helped her animate her presentation. I felt nervous when she told me I have to present a defense card with my adviser's signature before I could present my thesis. Good thing there was still a copy in the Dean's office and my adviser was in the Faculty room. I was able to get him something so after he signed my defense card I hand over him my present. Too bad he had a 9-10 AM class; he wouldn't be able to make it to my presentation. He just gave me a tight hug then I headed off to the library.

The moment of truth had finally arrived. At exactly 9 AM I was already in the library waiting for Berna to finish. I stayed in the vacant conference room, scanned my notes for the last time, and then uttered a small prayer of help. My classmates asked me to get ready because Berna was just waiting for her deliberation.

I entered the room then Ning helped me to set up my powerpoint presentation on the laptop provided. My panelists had arrived and I felt diverse feelings like I was about to puke or I wanna go pee. I even felt I wanna go to the CR, but mostly, I felt really terrified I just wish I sink to the gorund.

The presentation started and after the first two slides, my fear slowly dropped off so by the time I was about to end the presentation I was not that panicky anymore. After my presentation, it was the panelist's turn to ask questions. There were tons of questions and luckily I was able to answer them though some of them were out of my scope. The questions finally ended so the panelists asked me to go out of the romm for the meantime for their deliberation. After a few seconds they called me in and told me

"Congratulations Jhoanna, the panel has deliberated to give you a grade of 14 out of 15."

I got a flat 1.0 with a remark of EXCELLENT!!!

I was practically in shock! I was happy but doubting. Am I that good? My classmates were all cheering and hugging me. They told me I was very good in answering the questions and seemed not to be nervous at all. Another factor would be my adviser's help. I couldn't do it without all his help and support and that meant a lot to me. Despite the fact that he was a really busy man, he had still tried to pull my thesis to his schedule. I was very thankful for that.

After my deliberation, I texted Honey to call me right away to tell him the good news. I also texted my mom and she told me she was really proud of me. Before I went home, I also texted Sir Rey (my adviser) to inform him my evaluation. At around 7 PM, he texted me:

"Joan, I have just opened your gift. Thanks a lot. You should not have bothered at all. Love you. I am so proud of you."

I was literally shouting with kilig at Starbucks! Hon asked me if something's wrong then I read him the message. Sir Rey was like a dad to our class so what he said really meant so much to me. When I got home, I told the entire story to my mom and she was so proud of me that she hugged me like a lil kid. I asked her to give me a thanksgiving mass.

This was indeed the best achievement I have ever received. All the pagod and puyat paid off quite well. I thank the Lord so musch for giving me more than I asked for. Of course I couldn't be able to do an excellent paper without the help and support of my thesis adviser plus my classmates and friends.Honey had also been a great help for checking me in the wee hours of the night and kept on telling me im smart so I should not fear anything. I love you for constanly believing in me. This is one blessing I would never forget...

REVOLUTION IS A RIGHT IN MACHIVELLI

jheng blabbered @ 11:49:00 AM