I was browsing the net the other day for some butterfly accessories coz I wanted to get a custom-made butterfly ring. Then I stumbled upon a number of sites selling band rings. Here's one of them
I don't know what came to me but my interest suddenly drove up to looking at a couple of them. After a million times of right clicking and saving those photos, I realized what the heck am I looking and saving these for? I don't have any plans of getting married now or even 5 years from now. Hell, I still have a lot of dreams I need to pursue (like being a lawyer..) that cannot be achievable if I tie the knot today. Sure I love Christian so much but as what elders say
"ang pag-aasawa ay hindi parang kanin na pag isinubo at napaso ay pwedeng iluwa" or something to that effect. Honestly, I don't see myself as Christian's or any guy's wife right now. I do entertain the idea though, but not just now or anytime soon. Sometimes we talk about plans of settling together which is really nice coz I can see how sincere Christian is and I know he's the most responsible guy in the world. Reality check. Yeah I'm old enough for beer but too young for marriage yet. I tell that to my friends all the time (I even have that in my college yearbook as my self description) when they ask me about our plans.
I have lots of principles and philosophies regarding marriage. First, I don't think that the
time couples spent together would still matter if you already tied the knot. Like what happened to Christian and his ex, they spent seven long years together but they still ended up separating due to some irreconcilable differences. They didn't marry but they had a baby though. Probably they're too young and immature then but according to him it was a mutual decision. Second, I disagree to the contrary belief that
girls 25 above should start planning or even finding the right person to marry or commonly said as the
"huling byahe". For me, even if I'm 39 as long as I'm 100% sure of the person I'll spend the rest of my life with, I wont care. Besides, I am the only person who can determine if I'm happy or not. Lastly,
marriage is the triumph of hope over common sense. Even like in my case, my honey has a 6-year-old son. Who gives a damn about what other people might say? Whether you chose an uber perfect husband, people would still dig something to mock you. That's life in the Philippines.
Sabi nga ni Kessa, di mabubuhay ang mga tao ng walang chismis. Hope is the only escape from the harsh reality of life. As long as the two of you gets along fine and both of you are capable adults I don't see any problems. Understanding is the key.
Wait. I'm losing it again. Unconsciously, I'm talking about marriage per se again. Christian would kill me if he reads this. Going back to what I was previously saying, I'm not yet ready. I have lots of hesitations right now probably because im still insecure about myself. Yes I have a job but not one that I see myself still being in 5 years from now. God I'm not making money enough for me, what more for a real family. Plus I'm not wifey material. I only know how to cook rice, anything "instant" (coffee, noodles, pancit canton et al), fried anything, boiled water (if that counts hehe!) but aside from that, the only thing sure fire I know about cooking is when I'm mom's little kitchen assistant. Another fact is my short patience. I take care of my baby cousin during weekends but I lose it when it starts throwing things during a tantrum or puke due to over eating. In short, I'm not yet a perfect candidate. My husband would return me to my mom if he finds out how vain, compulsive and immature I am. I want to face "Mr. Right" at the right place and time. And I'm pretty sure it's not today.
jheng
blabbered @ 5:46:00 AM
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MISSING YOU
