j h e n g s k i ' s w o r l d

beauty as a curse

2006-12-06T05:12:00.000+07:00

would have more ~
I would have more ~
of life and all the pictures
in it...
I would know more ~
and more there is
to make, to show, to see
of it...
And yet I think,
it's far too late,
and this must be my curse ~
For youthful beauty
falls away,
and young men lose
their heartdreams to the hearse.

MEASURED TIME

2006-09-04T04:15:00.000+07:00

Due to some unavoidable circumstances, our account will soon be dissolved. And because of this, our company has to move people from our department and scatter them to other accounts. It is so sad that our tight batch had to undergo this fate and take calls separately. Lerie and I are still on Comms Bay. Honestly, we still don't know where we are headed or if we are gonna be transfered to another account as well. Gam is transferring to ICT. I suppose she'll start her training sometime next week. Will already filed his resignation so he's just rendering 15 days and he'll be leaving on the 16th going to Fortune Care's Marketing Department. The Divas, Bel, Anneli (as a workforce analyst) and Erik will be moving to Transfer Plus. The non-regularized people Khai, Arlyn, Ed, Awin, Susie and Dycen will be moving to People PC. Although we are still is one building, it's still hard to catch up on each other's lives unlike before. I don't wanna name names but I just hope what they did to our batch compensates the account's growth as what they've been telling us. The office will never be the same without them. I'm really sad. I'll surely miss everyone. I'll surely miss my friends.

How can we measure time?
In laughter?
There's been enough of that.
And tears,
sometimes too many.
Friendships lost and found;
battles fought and won.
So many directions
in one,
likes stars in a cloudless sky,
some dazzling
some blinking; waiting.
All mapping the path
from there
to here.
So how can we measure time?
In our own way,
when an ending
is a beginning.
And, when you look back
you will see the door is
open behind you,
in front of you.
Don't worry, I'm just there.
Still waiting for you.

HOW DO I SEE MYSELF 10 YRS FROM NOW

2006-09-02T00:38:00.000+07:00

We've been on Communications Bay training for 5 days now and Rydez made us do an essay:

Life is a grindstone. Whether it grinds us down or polishes us up depends on us. It is a fast-paced realm that one has to make the best out of. Yes it is short as it is time-bound. No one knows how long he or she will be staying on this world. But personally, I believe that everything you do while you still have the chance will matter when you leave this world and move on to perhaps the "other side". For 21 years, I had encountered many problems. Some made me weak, some strong. But because of those trials, I had become a wiser person. Wiser not only in the sense that I finished school with no failing marks whatsoever, but for the fact that I had overcome every hump on my way. Before, the only thing I was primarily concerned was to finish a schoolwork I have for the day. I only pushed through with my course because I have to. My mom has been telling me the importance of education not only as a mother, but also as a person who came from a family of educators. I never took any of her advises seriously because I was thinking that anyone who is a capable adult can find a decent job. I was wrong. I then realized how hard it is to earn your own money, especially in my country. I started making achievable plans for my future like being a lawyer. My first step is to study law after getting a stable job.

My favorite philosopher once said "Men generally judge with their eyes rather with their hand. For people always see what you appear to be and fewer can feel your real essence." And in the end, it's not the years in your life that count. It's the life in your years. In a span of 10 years I want to be what to achieve all my dreams. 10 years from now, I perceive myself as a more responsible and disciplined woman. Running my own law firm and a top caliber criminal lawyer. A smart lawyer, yet one that has a personal style. I see myself having my own family. My primary role is to raise kids and provide a harmonious home for them. I picture myself making breakfast for my husband and kissing him before he goes to work. After a long day at the office, I will be the one to cook a sumptuous dinner for my family and after which help the children do their home works. I want to be in charge of decorating our home, making it a nice and cozy place to live in. I would still invite my friends for dinner and try to update events that had happened with our lives. I want my family, especially my mom to just sit back and relax at home and do nothing but to think of something to do.

I still see myself in a continuous learning process. Not only studying my client's cases, but also enriching my skills as a lawyer, mother, wife and as a whole person. A great secret of success is to go through life as a man who never gets used up. Being a philosophy graduate, I know how wisdom plays an important part in one's entirety. Quoting from Aristotle, "the empty barrel always makes the greatest sound". I don't want to be an empty barrel. I want to die as a barrel almost full. I'll strive hard to enrich all my skills and try to share it with my family, my friends or anyone else who needs it.

All men who have achieved great things have been great dreamers. But for me, I want to dream and fantasize about my life in a manner that I know is feasible. And the difference in dreaming and fantasizing in my own sense is if I dream, I will do everything to attain it. If I fantasize, I only make illusions. Illusions that I know could never come true. If you don't know where you are going, you will probably end up somewhere else. I'm still too young and I haven't proven anyone yet. I do know my limits, but I will never stop trying to exceed them. And because of those dreams, I will someday become the person I dreamt about 10 years from today. Nobody gets to live life backward. I will just look ahead, that is where my future lies.

MARRIAGE?

2006-08-29T05:46:00.001+07:00

I was browsing the net the other day for some butterfly accessories coz I wanted to get a custom-made butterfly ring. Then I stumbled upon a number of sites selling band rings. Here's one of them

I don't know what came to me but my interest suddenly drove up to looking at a couple of them. After a million times of right clicking and saving those photos, I realized what the heck am I looking and saving these for? I don't have any plans of getting married now or even 5 years from now. Hell, I still have a lot of dreams I need to pursue (like being a lawyer..) that cannot be achievable if I tie the knot today. Sure I love Christian so much but as what elders say "ang pag-aasawa ay hindi parang kanin na pag isinubo at napaso ay pwedeng iluwa" or something to that effect. Honestly, I don't see myself as Christian's or any guy's wife right now. I do entertain the idea though, but not just now or anytime soon. Sometimes we talk about plans of settling together which is really nice coz I can see how sincere Christian is and I know he's the most responsible guy in the world. Reality check. Yeah I'm old enough for beer but too young for marriage yet. I tell that to my friends all the time (I even have that in my college yearbook as my self description) when they ask me about our plans.

I have lots of principles and philosophies regarding marriage. First, I don't think that the time couples spent together would still matter if you already tied the knot. Like what happened to Christian and his ex, they spent seven long years together but they still ended up separating due to some irreconcilable differences. They didn't marry but they had a baby though. Probably they're too young and immature then but according to him it was a mutual decision. Second, I disagree to the contrary belief that girls 25 above should start planning or even finding the right person to marry or commonly said as the "huling byahe". For me, even if I'm 39 as long as I'm 100% sure of the person I'll spend the rest of my life with, I wont care. Besides, I am the only person who can determine if I'm happy or not. Lastly, marriage is the triumph of hope over common sense. Even like in my case, my honey has a 6-year-old son. Who gives a damn about what other people might say? Whether you chose an uber perfect husband, people would still dig something to mock you. That's life in the Philippines. Sabi nga ni Kessa, di mabubuhay ang mga tao ng walang chismis. Hope is the only escape from the harsh reality of life. As long as the two of you gets along fine and both of you are capable adults I don't see any problems. Understanding is the key.

Wait. I'm losing it again. Unconsciously, I'm talking about marriage per se again. Christian would kill me if he reads this. Going back to what I was previously saying, I'm not yet ready. I have lots of hesitations right now probably because im still insecure about myself. Yes I have a job but not one that I see myself still being in 5 years from now. God I'm not making money enough for me, what more for a real family. Plus I'm not wifey material. I only know how to cook rice, anything "instant" (coffee, noodles, pancit canton et al), fried anything, boiled water (if that counts hehe!) but aside from that, the only thing sure fire I know about cooking is when I'm mom's little kitchen assistant. Another fact is my short patience. I take care of my baby cousin during weekends but I lose it when it starts throwing things during a tantrum or puke due to over eating. In short, I'm not yet a perfect candidate. My husband would return me to my mom if he finds out how vain, compulsive and immature I am. I want to face "Mr. Right" at the right place and time. And I'm pretty sure it's not today.

MISSING YOU

2006-07-02T12:53:00.000+07:00

Its hard to feel really bad when you can't say it out loud to anyone. I'm pretty sure they'll either judge me instantly or blame me for my own makings. I'm so confused right now. I'm pretty sure I'm more than happy with my career and colleagues. And I perfectly understand my other duties aside from being a travel agent. I never neglected my role as a daughter, a friend, a sister and a girlfriend. Why are you the only one who can't see that?

Things change and i understand that people do as well. I can't change the fact that we have different priorities and responsibilities now. But all i wanted is to be included in that change. It's as if Im with a total stranger when were together. I hate feeling left out. Feeling so alien when im with you.

MUCH HAPPY NOW

2006-04-09T06:25:00.000+07:00

After a friend's tragic loss, guilt trippings, inferiority complexes, mood swings, relationship battles and family problems, i can proudly say that im way happier now. My new job is great and im so enjoying my batchmates company. So far so good. The account is not so hard though its kinda technical. I was hitting metrics similar to regular agents during the past week! a big hell yeah to that! the batch is also planning a summer getaway at Laguna next Saturday. Can't wait for that to come.

Im really thankful to the people who were there during my down times. Yes all the scolding and sermons did work after all. I just hope everything would turn out better as my stay in my new work progresses. Im lovin my new life!

MY HAPPY HOUSE

2006-03-05T11:03:00.000+07:00

Ning, though I wasn't able to be with you during your last moments, I'll forever cherish and look back on the days that we've been together. i'm sorry for the shortcomings and during those times I was stubborn enough to listen. You were always a friend to everyone and I thank you for that. I'm gonna miss you. I know we'll see each other again someday.

I'M BACK IN BUSSINESS!

2006-02-26T13:54:00.000+07:00

After all the donwtimes and frustrations, my hard work finally paid off.. I am again officially employed.. a big hell yeah to that! I swore to God and the people around me that I won't waste this chance again.. I felt this is the break I've been waiting for.. And it feels so damn good!

STILL A NOBODY

2006-02-04T23:51:00.000+07:00

Whew! Its been quite a while since I updated my blog. Well you can't blame me for not posting anything. That's because I don't have anything to blog about. If there'll be an award for the most uninteresting/purposeless/monotonous/utilitarian/meaningless life of a living person, I am an unquestionable winner.I'M STILL A BIG NOBODY!

Since my last post, I haven't found a job yet. My whole day revolves around the tv, our couch and my computer. The only time I go out is to have coffee with friends and just stay there until we bore each other and eventually end another mind-numbing, worthless day.

I've tried applying for tons of different jobs but I don't think the "big guy" wants me to work right now. I tried out for office works, call centers, even as a front desk receptionist. Still no luck. Just endless days of waiting for phone calls from the companies I applied for.

I passed my application in another Ortigas call center. I don't know if I'm a jinx or if fate really doesnt want me to be happy at all. I wasn't informed of the training schedule so I missed my first day. I called them up to ask if I can get differed to the next training batch but they just gave me a stupid answer that they still don't have the schedule for the next batch. I had a funny feeling that they were just making that up where in fact they just don't want to hire me because they think I'm just putting up a lame excuse because I was too lazy to go to work. Fuck them all!

Well I guess I was right. Nobody called me. Up until today. My friend who works there told me that training batches has an interval of 3-4 weeks. So I assumed by now they already have the exact date of the next wave of trainees. That made me wonder if I am simply unlucky or if that was part of God's plan. I really am very confused. Confused and desperate.

When I went to the Christmas mass with my family, I asked the Lord to give me an idea of what his plans are. I am kinda losing hope in finding a decent job and I'm also starting to feel uneasy about going to Law school. I know its wrong but during our class party, I got envy of most of my batch mates who are now earning their own dough. I felt so pathetic and desperate. I want to have a job at this instant!

Maybe the "big guy" is mad at me because I kept on refusing the blessings he was trying to hand me in the past. Or maybe I'm paranoid. Or maybe I'm just saying this because I am so desperate. Right now I really don't know. My life is just so messed up without any direction or goal. I feel lost. So lost.

'TIS THE SEASON TO BE JOLLY!

2005-12-23T19:46:00.000+07:00

and

i'm going to Bulacan for Christmas then be back on the 26th to spend New Year.. enjoy the season people!!!

KATRINA

2005-10-14T13:06:00.001+07:00

I'm quite aware of the disater that recent struck New Orleans, Louisiana but it didn't quite hit me until last night. I watched Oprah's coverage of the medical and rescue missions she did and I was horrified with the current condition of the state and its people. There were numerous homeless, lonely and teffiried people, majority of which were african americans. I saw poor children, helpless elderly folks and thousands of adults who are still hoping they would find they're relatives somehow.

It was really a heart wrenching scene! The entire city was completely devastated - furnitures and cars floating on dirty water, wrecked houses and buildings and even corpse lying practically everywhere. The ressetlement areas are packed with injured people, some of which are even left in the morgue to die there because the volunteers sees no hope in them anymore. People are literally walking on the freeway to find a better place to stay in. Helicopters were used to move survivors to relocation sites making family members difficult to find. I was crying the whole time while watching this and only God knows how much I pity these people.

Yes there are rescue and medical missions but its not enough. Most of which are from volunteers like Red Cross and some non-goverment organizations. Some artists and actors even lend a helping hand. I came to a point where I wondered what their Mayor or Governor are doing at the moment about this current catastrophe. Where did the natural calamity emergency fund lead to? I know we can't do anything about natural disasters but with the inhabitants of the city, this would've never happened if they were relocated earlier before the hurricane struck. I also imagined what would happen if majority of the hurricane victims were white americans. Would their goverment still wait for this kind of tragedy to take form before they make a move? I strongly believe that this is not the perfect time to use poor judgement to discriminate anybody. We are all human beings for crying out loud!

It reminded me of the typhoons we had which also led to some loss of lives and property. I asked the Lord not to let this kind of adversity happen to the Philippines. A powerful and rich country wasn't able to 100% overcome this catastrophe, what more in a third world country. Let us just thank God for each passing day we have. Please do not wait for a disaster to take place before we remember calling His Name.

Too bad I can't do anything to help them out. All I did was pray for the souls of the people who died and for the betterment of those who are still fighting to survive. When you read this post, please include them in your bedtime prayers for me.

CONFUSION...

2005-10-01T14:48:00.000+07:00

Silence builds an awful wreckage of a girl. It feeds on loneliness and creates a void. Gray shadows haunt and torment and torture. A youngster is stricken and destroyed

There is no sound of laughter or happiness here. The little one has thrown in the towel today. Somber, melancholy moods decay the soul
It is futile to hope and dream and pray.

Emptiness builds a home in this woman. In this girl, this child where hollows have bred. A deepening sea of nowhereness consumes and eats away at every connecting thread.

Confusion feeds like a savage inside her, leaving nothing considered worthy remains. Destined to walk through life less ordinary. Alone, exiled, different and disdained.

UNTITLED

2005-09-29T12:15:00.000+07:00

Some days you seem so close
like you stand right before me
But then the next day you seem so far
like each other we can't see,
Each day is like a roller coaster
with my stomach turning upside down
You stand there looking
but yet you don't utter a sound,
I feel so confused and
my heart is being torn at its seams
And every night that I sleep
you seem to linger in my dreams,
Every time I look at you
I forget all my thoughts
And right then and there
it's you that my heart has sought,
Every time I hope
it turns into something bad
So for right now I'll stop thinking
And maybe things won't end up sad.

AVERAGE

2005-09-23T08:55:00.000+07:00

I know how to do many stuffs.
I know Im not brainless.
I know how to make sense.
I know I can do a lot.
I know Im not ordinary.
I know there's more inside me.
I know how to cope with things.
I know I can make things happen.
But now now what's this I feel?
I feel just average.
Who's not exeptional
with anything she does.
An average girl...

A SPARK OF HOPE

2005-09-04T12:51:00.000+07:00

After a few quiet and forlorn days of waiting for the rest of companies I applied for to call, I finally got a job. I know it's quite unfair for me to just go to work to stop thinking about the murky days I had when I failed in that uber perfect company. But I have no choice. I have to move ahead to overcome the harsh reality.

My new workplace is not as overgenerous as what I anticipated but its ok. The people are nice and the office has great architecture. They also offer free food and drinks. Maybe not from Via Mare but they do have a variety of coffee blends and cakes. We are also given free lockers and the top sellers are promised to be given an IPOD MINI as a reward. I guess its not that bad after all. The only thing I'm worried about is the shifting schedules. I just got a bit annoyed with the receptionist who has all this pink Hello Kitty stuffs on her desk. Even her keyboard and mouse is Hello Kitty! I wonder if its also provided by the office hehe! I'm about to start training on Monday and I hope it'll turn out fine.

The salary is not that enormous but I think I could bare with it. The ghost of my ideal company still haunts me when I am about to sleep. There are even moments where I plan on just spending a couple of months at my new office then re-apply there. But I still haven't figured out what I really want. Right now I just wanna move on. Move on and learn to smile again.

I AM A PRINCESS. A LONELY PRINCESS

2005-08-21T16:39:00.000+07:00

I hate my life now. Got nothing worthwhile to do but to surf the net and play games on my pc. I go out but just for coffee or dinner. I am a full time bummer but I prefer the term "PRINCESS". I don't know if its right to blame myself for the miseries I am in right now. I was given by lady luck the chance to be in a sphere I really desire to be but I just blew it all off. I applied in this company where 18 people applied and only 3 made it to initial interview including me. But I just wasted that chance by letting my anxiety and fear take over my wits. I was stamerring like I don't know anything about what I am speaking of. I can't put all the blame on the guy who interviewd me coz I know he's just doing his job. The only thing he said that really made me feel I'm in is when he asked me if I'm ready to start on the 29th. He said he'd call me the following day because the person in charge of my final interview is not available. I was given false hopes. I should've known better.

Its really a kick in the teeth! Call me desperate but I cried for 2 consecutive days after I found out I didn't make it. People tell me I shouldn't be bothered too much coz there are lots of other jobs I could apply for. But I can't imagine another company who give me a whopping 27 kiao for just answering the phone; An intelligent and competitive team of people who graduated in top schools; A permanent shift in an office that has no dress codes; Or even a catered dinner at their dime plus botomless coffee the whole night; An accident insurance worth at least 200 kiao; Your very own station and computer that has flat screen monitor and thin cpu; And don't forget the other preks like free cofee mugs, pizza parties, free lockers and team building activities.

When I think about all of the good stuffs I blew off, I can't stop blaming myself for being such a fool. I know my capabilities and I am pretty much sure I am not stupid but sometimes I feel like I lack what it takes. If I would be given one wish it'll definetely be to go back to that dreadful initial interview and iron out my wits and compose myself. I don't know how long this depression is gonna last. But I hope soon. Sooner.

IT'S ALL OVER

2005-07-09T05:56:00.000+07:00

I can't blame people if I can't stay longer at SVI. My mom is my prime problem eversince I started that job. Then followed Hon who seemed very distracted when I'm talking about anything that has to do with work for no apparent reason (knowing the fact that he was the one who told me to apply there). Now my health. It's not the late night work and puyat that bothers me. I'm an insomniac and a nocturnal person after all. It's the weather and the aircondiner in the office that actually set off my back pains, colds, cough and flu.

That 2 day absence triggered my mom to finally lay her iron fist on my tough decision to go on. She was so concerned with my health condition and I understand her point. But the real issue here is my job and my choices. She left me no chance whatsoever to find a perfect option for my life. Before people would say I'm a spoiled brat. Maybe this is where it ends. My magical charm doesn't work on my mom anymore. It was now a battle of who's more powerful regardless if she's wrong or right.

I love my mom more than anything in the world and I know she only wants the best of everything for me. I respect her decision so now I must obey despite the odds. There's no turning back now even though people tell me that I am one of the few that was able to get in and shouldn't pass on the opportunity. Some of my batchmates would even say "mahirap maghanap ng trabaho ngayon na ganito kadale at ganito kalake ang sweldo!" BUt it's too late. I've reached the end of the line.

I'll surely miss every inch of my first job especially the people that made it a happy place to stay in. Just the thought of missing out news and gossips inside the batch makes me sad. I'll miss smoking with nice people in the wee hours of the night which for us is a far cry from going home. The odd "lunchtime" with constant sharing of foods that somewhat seemed like a picnic. The incomparable bond that happened so quickly between a bunch of wackos and weirdos. Thanx for the good times. I'm gonna miss you all.

TOUGH LUCK

2005-06-27T00:04:00.000+07:00

As I look back on the days when I was still desperately looking for a job, I realized that everything came about through 70% effort and 30% luck. SVI Connect was not one of the call centers I imagined to be my environment. It was the very first firm I tried applying on. The next thing I knew, I was already starting my speech training. Then a week after I was in my skills training. Afterwards I was off to incubation. Now here I am - officially over with classroom training. Though I expect to get a sale through "luck", I still have the blood of a philosopher running in my veins. I remembered my icon's words:

"A (wo)man who relies solely on the powers of lady fortuna is not considered to be a gentle(wo)man endowed with virtu." -Niccolo Machiavelli

So now that my Mom has finally gave in to my being a contact center agent, I think I should start knowing the essence of the word FOCUS. Despite the reputation that call centers are just stepping stones for desperate fresh grads, people don't know how tiring it is to blabber in the wee hours of the night. Its also not that easy to cope with Americnas who loves to say "we're not interested". Getting a a sale for me would be far from now because I must first start focusing on work.
Its time to get serious to be able to earn my dough.

JUDGEMENT DAY

2005-06-18T05:34:00.000+07:00

i am typing this post directly from the PC's of SVI Connect. This is our last day of skills training and all of us are having a really hard time coping over the stress of our 1 hour actual calling time. We are all thinking that once or twice during those calls we messed up big time. Now its sinking in to me. I dont think this is the job I would excel in. Yeah its one of those works where you have a great chance of getting a big income through commissions. But when you're already there, you would realize how difficult it is to get a sale. Besides the fact that I am not a "sales" person (I finished philosophy for crying out loud), I dont think I would enjoy what I am suppossed to do. Well Im still on the grueling process of waiting for the results of our final exam and 1 hour calling time anyways.

This experience is one helluva trip. Im gonna miss Sir Mike (our funny yet intelligent trainer who apparently loves JPop and Anime), my loud batch ( Aby, Gary, Jarvy, Mommy Merli, June, Paeng, Bene, Dave and Jim) and our thursday group (Randy, Bryan, Jake, Ate Ces, Kuya Owel, Anneli, Jeff and Ivan). I'll surely never forget these people. I'll miss our song trips, ghost experiences, yosi breaks, joke times, eating in the pantry, kodakans, the barahan between Gary, Aby and Jake and of course the pizza party during the last day.

Guys, this is just the beginning.. we'll see each other around someday!

A NEW PHASE

2005-05-26T12:29:00.000+07:00

Remember the time when I said my mom wouldn't allow me to work as a call center agent? Well she finally gave in after I passed my exam and initial interview. Honestly, I am looking forward to a job that includes office works such as that in a Law firm (so I could have a clear idea of how the industry works) or a secretarial job perhaps. I guess this job came to me because of mere luck. It was the only company I was able to encode a database so I could get a schedule for my examination. I was also lucky to get in out of 33 applicants (only 11 of us are going through the final interview).

But here I am, later at 7:30 pm I will be having my final interview. I'm a bit scared actually but I just think of it as a sort of thesis defense where you just have to give your best shot. After this I'm off to making my own moolah. Wish me luck people!

BUSSINESS KUNO

2005-05-15T20:34:00.000+07:00

I'm posting some pix of how my "masterpiece" looks like. Many of my friends think its nice so baka (baka lang naman) may interested bumile. I'm only selling it for PHP 100 tas you can request pa what color you want. Multipurpose kse xa so ok. It can be a bracelet, an anklet, a necklace at kung anik anik pa. You can click this link for some of the pictures

SUBIC ADVENTURE

2005-05-09T08:52:00.000+07:00

The trip was a total blast! Despite all the hassles before the trip, we went home very satisfied and even felt bitin. I went to Meg's house last friday at 9 in the morning coz we were suposed to do our last minute shopping in greenhills. But because of some uncontrolled circumstances we ended up shopping at SM Manila instead. After shopping, we headed off to meet Jhet then fetched Bochay (his gf) at Paranaque. For all we know, Bochay and her dad were arguing over the trip. When we got there, her mom was very apologetic saying that Bochay's dad didn't allow her to go with us because no one went to her house to ask for her dad's permission. So ayun, we went to Victory Cubao station heavy hearted to meet Loy. When Don was going to buy our tickets, the conductor told us that the last trip left at 6 pm. The next trips is at Caloocan and Pasay stations. I got really worried because Hon was still on his way to Cubao. After some calls I've decided to let Don, Meg, Jhet and Loy ahead so Hon and I could sit on one bus together. Our bus left at 9:30 pm and arrived at Olongapo at 12:30 pm.

When we got there, Nanay (Don's lola) was there and was a real sweetie. Don helped Nanay cook our dinner then Meg washed the dishes. Afterwards we headed off to a nearby store to start our drinking session. As usual Jhet was the tanggero and the joker of the group. The morning after we went to the beach and made sand castles and sand imprints. The beach was awesome! Firstly it was free, second there were not much people. Our stay at Gapo was a real bumming experience. We would spend our day eating, bonding, sleeping, smoking (we termed it toothbrushing para di malaman ni Nanay)and drinking. We never even watch tv or listen to the radio. We call ourselves professional bums hehe!

The second day was nice but kinda bitin. We started swimming at 8 am and the boys were so fired up that they skinny dipped in the middle of the sea! Our hearts were really heavy when we decided to leave the beach. The trip was great coz there were equal share of labor and money making everyone enjoy the whole trip. I can't possibly describe the beauty of the beach nor tell how much fun we had so just check out the pictures for you to find out. Just click the link

[PICTURES]

THE BEACH AT LAST

2005-05-02T22:48:00.000+07:00

Gosh!I can't conceal my excitement!tonight Meg confirmed our long awaited summer get away with some of our classmates. It's gonna be at Don's place somewhere in Olongapo. So for sure I could see some sand and salty water I've been longing to be. We'll be staying at their ancestral house where the only person there is his lola. We are going to shop for our summer stuffs within this week. I can't wait hihi! Sana lang this time it's for real na. Puro na lang kse plans tas nauuwi lang sa wala.

By the way, I'm currently hooked up with beads at the moment. So since its the summer season and I'm living the life of a typical bum, I started doing a capiz necklace for starters.

My mom says its nice daw so I'm looking forward to buying more beads of several kinds to make another more different one. I'll also do some for my tita and my mom. My mom also see this as a bussiness opportunity but I only cosider this as my past time. Pro malay ko din di ba? If this would earn me money e di mas ok. Bumming with cash hehe!

ANG BWISET NA HEAT

2005-04-28T21:41:00.000+07:00

My title says it all. Its that freaking heat that makes me feel uneasy all the time. Right after you take a bath whether in the morning or in the eveing, it feels the same! Just wait after a couple of minutes then your starting to sweat again ggrrr!!!
I was thinking the other day to ask my mom to buy me an aircon for my room. But my righteous bf scolded me instead.

JHENG: Hon tignan mo ung aircon .5 horsepower tas 7 thousand lang! Pabili kya ako?
HON: E kase kung ung pinambili mo ng IPOD pinambili mo ng aircon sana masarap na tulog mo ngayon!!!
JHENG: Ok po. Sori na. (pahiya)

Well he's right. Masyado kse ako materialistic e. I just hope I could do something to cool myself. Imagine having 2 electric fans in one room pro walang silbe. Tas wala nmn ako summer escapade na pwede ako magbabad for 3 hours sa water. Its so freaking hot and humid! I wish its the rainy season na. Hay..

NEW LAYOUT

2005-04-26T21:55:00.000+07:00

thanx to KESSA for this super colorful layout. She edited my entire blog. Buti na lang sipag mode sha. I owe you one Caramel Frap. Alabshu girl!!!

ITS BEEN A YEAR NOW

2005-04-21T12:19:00.000+07:00

ITS OUR 1ST YEAR ANNIVERSARY TODAY!

well because of some financial problem, we didn't get to do anything out of the ordinary. We just ate at Teriyaki Boy then headed off to Bong's house to have their mini "drinking session". Good thing I had my creative juices flowing the night before so I was able to write him a good letter. Here's a part of my 4 page letter:

Hon, thanks for coming into my life and showing me that there are still good men in the world. Thank you for being so caring and sweet in your own modest way. Thank you for always being genuine and frank. Thank you being my joist that hold me up especially when I reach the rough edges of life. Thank you for giving me the guts to fight for our love. After all the pains, sacrifices and hardships that we've been through, it's all worth it because of the upshot. I know that hindi na biro lahat ng pinagdaanan natin and I want to thank you for your trust, for accepting all my crabbiness, and of course for loving me and accepting who the real jheng behind that smile is. Thank you for your maximum tolerance of my mulishness and childishness. Thank you for loving me no way any one has ever tried. Thank you for knowing all the little things that means so much to me. Thank you for understanding that you and I need to take time together for fun, making love, talking and just spending time together. Those 12 months we shared together made me a better gal and I thank you for escalating with me. Right now, I don’t care about what will be "us" in the future. I'm just glad you crashed into my world and made me see the colors of the rainbow again. For everything you are, and mean to me and everything I am becoming because you are in my life thank you. I love you.

I also have this super cheap gift which is a white bead necklace which costs less than Php 300. I was just glad he was moved with my letter. This is the cheapest celebration ever. But I'm still glad we were able to stay together for a year now and I hope we could still be together until the next April 21.

COLLEGE DAYS ARE OVER

2005-04-11T00:17:00.000+07:00

ITS MY GRADUATION DAY TODAY!!!

[click here for photos]

im so glad i already finished tertiary school.. im now off to entering the corporate jungle to save up for law school.. im having mixed emotions at the moment.. feeling sad coz im leaving my dear Alma Mater.. excited coz i get to finally experience earning my own dough.. Grief-stricken coz not all of my blockmates are gonna graduate.. triumphant coz i was able to cope up after getting beat up really bad by my tough subjects and tons of paper works (including my thesis).. and proud because i graduated without any back subjects and failing marks..

what's more is i finished college as a DALAGA (most of my high school batchmates got pregnant during college so they either had to stop or didin't made it).. here's one to those who bullied me back in high school

WHO'S THE BITCH NOW?

im just happy half of my life is done.. im now becoming a more mature woman that is warming up to enter another realm which although has many hardships, will be more rewarding.. i need all the luck.. GRADUATION IS NOT AN END, IT IS JUST A BEGINNING

CHEERS TO ALL MY CO-GRADUATES!

KAROL JOSEF WOJTYLA, REQUIESAT IN PACEM

2005-04-06T12:10:00.000+07:00

I join the entire Catholic community in lamentation for the death of our Supreme Pontiff, Pope John Paul II. Pope John Paul II, who helped topple communism in Europe and left a deeply conservative stamp on the church that he led for 26 years, died Saturday night in his Vatican apartment, ending a long public struggle against debilitating illness. He was 84. You have not only been a pious man but also a philosopher in your own right. You have served your purpose very well and led the whole world towards benevolence. Farewell and may you walk alongside God on the golden road to Heaven.

Eternal rest grant unto
the soul of thy servant, Karol,
and let perpetual light shine upon him,
and may he rest in peace. Amen.

DEPRESSION

2005-03-30T22:42:00.000+07:00

these past few days, i've been feeling really depressed and lonely.. i don't know if this is part of PMS but i feel really bad about a lot of things..

FIRST DEPRESSION: EATING DISORDER
i feel really bad about how i look at the moment.. yeah i know my hair had found the treatment that could tame it and it never looked this great.. but my heart bleeds everytime my friends and relatives tell me how fat i am at the moment.. i've never been this huge eversince i was a kid.. my waistline is slowly pumping up to 28 inches! (my normal waistline is 26).. i am not a big boned person so how fat i get shows very prominetly in my face.. actually im starting to think of taking weight loss pills or appetite depressing ones out of despair so i could finally put a stop to pigging out..

i think i already have an appetite disorder.. i've read about the symptoms of binge eating disorder in PATTY'S blog and i feel i have it coz most of the time, i eat unstopably til i get to the point where i already feel really bloated and almost about to puke.. i badly need to go to the gym but my mom told me to wait until after graduation.. i want to try taking fat burners or diet pills but HON told me he would absolutely freak out if i get sick due to gobbling up unsafe meds.. i hate it when people tell it to my face that i dont look good anymore because of how big i got.. some even think im pregnant because my weight shocks them.. it really makes me lose my confidence and feel disgusted.. when i think about eating too much, i firmly tell myself to control my food intakes.. but when food is in front of me, i just can't help but eat till i already feel bad and uneasy.. i guess all my self-discipline vanished after doing my thesis..

SECOND DEPRESSION: A REAL CHUM
i am an outgoing person.. my week is never complete (even when i was still studying) without going to malls or even having coffee with my bf or with a friend.. i could say i get along with others well though few only know who the real JHENG is.. but one thing is missing.. A BEST BESTFRIEND

i envy other girls who has a bestfriend they could get along perfectly well all the time.. sure i have lots of people i could call my "BESTFRIEND" that probably knows me and could ride with my insanities.. but most of them are guys (like Lyndon, Boogie, Jayson and Blinkee) who could not understand a girl's shopping addiction.. i have one best friend (MYLENE) who is always there to give an unbiased and evenhanded advise.. but she can't be with me all the time like how i perceive a bestfriend should be.. i have lots of friends and i cherish all of them but there is still this gap in my heart that only a real bestfriend could fill

i see other girls who has a friend who enjoys the same things she enjoys doing.. some even moves, speaks and dresses like the other.. some are neighbors that could crash into each others crib anytime they want and talk about anything under the sun.. some make time to bond with her girlfriend despite their busy schedules.. i continously hope i would find someone i could count on every single moment of my life..

THRID DEPRESSION: LIFE AFTER GRADUATION
i wonder what lies ahead me after i march the final pace of my academic life.. i wanted to work after graduation but my mom wont let me work in a Call Center.. she says it is a no-brainer that would only crash your ego because of some aggressive and inconsiderate customers.. (pardon my mom Call Center peeps!)

i have no plans of making that work my lifetime career.. all i wanted was to gain money for law school.. by the way, i haven't really made up my mind if i really want to study another difficult course.. i know i've shown everyone who pre-judged me about entering PHILOSOHY who said that i cant go on with such difficult course how good i became after the course.. but this issue is not on the ego per se.. its about what i really want.. im also planning to undergo a POWER MEMORY seminar before entering law school.. at the same time, this is the perfect time to think things over and figure out what i honestly desire

im so depressed right now.. my mind thinks about a lot of things every minute and believe me its not fun.. call it paranoia or mood.. but this is really not amusing.. i just hope HON would still love me for me..

A FEW STEPS MORE

2005-03-21T11:58:00.000+07:00

last Friday, we had our Baccalaureate Mass at the UST Grandstand.. at first I never thought it is something that serious.. i thought that event would just be a mass that would bless the graduates before they leave the University.. but i guess im wrong.. it is something serious and melodramatic after all..

after the mass held by Fr. Tamerlane Lana, the rector of UST, a few students from different courses had their small talk about how fun and memorable college life is.. we were like "can't you tell about that later coz its freaking drizzling!" but after that talk, the wide screen played a sort of flashbacks of college life with a background music to match (the song was Here's Tonight)which made me feel goosebumps all over my neck..

at that particular moment, i felt the need to cry.. but i decided to save it for graduation (April 13 to be exact).. I AM REALLY LEAVING THE UNIVERSITY.. I AM REALLY STEPPING OUT OF THE REAL WORLD..

I would never forget the experience of studying in UST.. i would forever cherish all the sorrows, hardships, joys and triumphs.. i would never be the person I am now if I never went to this school.. I'll surely gonna miss everything..

EVE 6 - Here's To The Night

So denied so I lied are you the now or never kind
In a day and a day love I'm gonna be gone for good again
Are you willing to be had are you cool with just tonight
Here's a toast to all those who hear me all too well

Here's to the nights we felt alive
Here's to the tears you knew you'd cry
Here's to goodbye
Tomorrow's gonna come too soon

Put your name on the line along with place and time
Wanna stay not to go I wanna ditch the logical
Here's a toast to all those who hear me all too well

Here's to the nights we felt alive
Here's to the tears you knew you'd cry
Here's to goodbye
Tomorrow's gonna come too soon

All my time is froze in motion
Can't I stay an hour or two or more
Don't let me let you go
Here's a toast to all those who hear me all too well

Here's to the nights we felt alive
Here's to the tears you knew you'd cry
Here's to goodbye
Tomorrow's gonna come too soon

***********
I'll post the Baccalaureate pics in my next post

THE BIG MOMENT

2005-02-25T11:49:00.000+07:00

The big day had arrived. Yesterday was my thesis defense. I woke up really early (4 AM) for no apparent reason. It seemed like there was an invisible alarm clock telling me to get up and read (for the nth time) my entire thesis. I practiced for the last time the flow of my report then tried to pray before I took a bath. I also had a tough time in making up my mind what to wear. Good thing I was able to dress up at around 6 AM. I was planning to eat breakfast but my anxiousness prevented me to feel any hunger whatsoever. So I just headed off to school with a wobbly spirit.

Chen and I met at Chowking Dapitan at 8 then I helped her animate her presentation. I felt nervous when she told me I have to present a defense card with my adviser's signature before I could present my thesis. Good thing there was still a copy in the Dean's office and my adviser was in the Faculty room. I was able to get him something so after he signed my defense card I hand over him my present. Too bad he had a 9-10 AM class; he wouldn't be able to make it to my presentation. He just gave me a tight hug then I headed off to the library.

The moment of truth had finally arrived. At exactly 9 AM I was already in the library waiting for Berna to finish. I stayed in the vacant conference room, scanned my notes for the last time, and then uttered a small prayer of help. My classmates asked me to get ready because Berna was just waiting for her deliberation.

I entered the room then Ning helped me to set up my powerpoint presentation on the laptop provided. My panelists had arrived and I felt diverse feelings like I was about to puke or I wanna go pee. I even felt I wanna go to the CR, but mostly, I felt really terrified I just wish I sink to the gorund. The presentation started and after the first two slides, my fear slowly dropped off so by the time I was about to end the presentation I was not that panicky anymore. After my presentation, it was the panelist's turn to ask questions. There were tons of questions and luckily I was able to answer them though some of them were out of my scope. The questions finally ended so the panelists asked me to go out of the romm for the meantime for their deliberation. After a few seconds they called me in and told me

"Congratulations Jhoanna, the panel has deliberated to give you a grade of 14 out of 15."

I got a flat 1.0 with a remark of EXCELLENT!!! I was practically in shock! I was happy but doubting. Am I that good? My classmates were all cheering and hugging me. They told me I was very good in answering the questions and seemed not to be nervous at all. Another factor would be my adviser's help. I couldn't do it without all his help and support and that meant a lot to me. Despite the fact that he was a really busy man, he had still tried to pull my thesis to his schedule. I was very thankful for that.

After my deliberation, I texted Honey to call me right away to tell him the good news. I also texted my mom and she told me she was really proud of me. Before I went home, I also texted Sir Rey (my adviser) to inform him my evaluation. At around 7 PM, he texted me:

"Joan, I have just opened your gift. Thanks a lot. You should not have bothered at all. Love you. I am so proud of you."

I was literally shouting with kilig at Starbucks! Hon asked me if something's wrong then I read him the message. Sir Rey was like a dad to our class so what he said really meant so much to me. When I got home, I told the entire story to my mom and she was so proud of me that she hugged me like a lil kid. I asked her to give me a thanksgiving mass.

This was indeed the best achievement I have ever received. All the pagod and puyat paid off quite well. I thank the Lord so musch for giving me more than I asked for. Of course I couldn't be able to do an excellent paper without the help and support of my thesis adviser plus my classmates and friends.Honey had also been a great help for checking me in the wee hours of the night and kept on telling me im smart so I should not fear anything. I love you for constanly believing in me. This is one blessing I would never forget...

REVOLUTION IS A RIGHT IN MACHIVELLI

FULLFILMENT IS BEST SERVED COLD

2005-02-12T09:32:00.000+07:00

my sleepless nights and stressful days finally paid off!

IM DONE WITH MY THESIS!!!

one step to go and i'm done with college life.. i can't believe it at first too.. when i saw my draft ring binded.. the costly printing [its worth more or less 470 for 3 copies of 79 pages].. the continous editing.. the black and thick eye bags.. the headless feeling the morning after i typed.. the sore fingers.. the super dry hands.. the zits.. the caffeine rush.. the tired back.. all of them disappeared when i held my thesis..

i consider this one of the momentous events of my life.. i also see this as an addition to my achievements.. i never imagined i could be this studious and persevered with school papers.. right this very moment, i should say im proud of myself!

im taking a 4 day break from using my pc.. i think he too needed a break [parang bestfriend ko na pc ko!].. now i could have some quality then after that, i'll start doing the powerpoint presentation for my defense side by side my other paper works in other subjects..

next thing i'll have to problem is my attire for the defense.. its so hard to pick up an appropriate attire for a corporate look coz im really not used to wearing one.. i just hope my mom's fashion sense would help me browse through my old clothes to put it all together..

well.. thats right about it for now.. i have to take a rest to get ready for some smooching later..
Meg, Don and Chen are going to the Lovapaloozaa and me and my Honey would try to come.. sayang nga kse la partner si Chen e.. if only i could fetch his bf from Ilocos hehe!

2005-02-09T09:12:00.000+07:00

as of this moment.. i dont feel anything.. my fingers are numb.. my eyes are sore.. my head seems light as a feather.. my stomach is grumbling.. my ears are ringing..
epekto ng o.a na puyat.. para akong binugbog!last night i've worked out my last chapter.. its hard to conclude than to write the actual stuff.. plus i have to come up with an abstract and a table of contents.. i was in a real rush because i still have to email my entire document to my adviser for a final editing.. today is the last day of submission of thesis drafts..

i wanna feel relaxed because i never had a good night sleep the whole week.. my bed time was at 4 in the morning.. all i do is to read, type.. read, type.. read, type.. drink coffee.. read, type.. my computer became my ultimate bestfriend..

as of now.. im waiting for my adviser's mail.. i hope i could get it before lunch so i could make the further changes he asks of me..

after this comes the big event.. thesis defense.. yikes!!!

*****

Acknowledgements:
KESSA-Thanx for the banner.. i love you!!!

Happy Chinese New Year to all!!! may the Rooster grant us all a prosperous and lucky year![i badly need that hehe!!]

I WANT AN IPOD BADLY!

2005-01-30T21:59:00.000+07:00

here's another episode of my drive for material objects.. i have this strong urge for a new gadget which is personally know is not of worth.. i asked my mom if she could get me one.. but as expected.. her answer was "NO"..

it all started when i saw this ad when i logged in to friendster.. my past dream was to have a Sony Ericsson P900 and i got one as my Christmas gift from my mom.. how i wish i could have this cute baby for myself.. hopefully as my graduation gift (if God will permit me)

oh well, reality check.. i still got two more chapters to do before the awaited moment of graduation comes.. kailangan mag-adik sa pagbabasa.. karirin si Machiavelli!!!

*****

last saturday Chen and I went to the Eclesiastical Library to do some serious research for our thesis.. i was so happy that Chen has finally found the courage and will to start doing her thesis.. as much as possible, i want all of my classmates to graduate and Chen was not the optimistic type.. so when she asked me to go with her to the library I undoubtly said yes

i really do hope 4PHL2 would all be graduating together.. everyone - no more no less.. i love you guys.. we can do this.. ayos lang yan kse pagkatapos ng hirap ayan na ang saya!!!

MEET MY GUY

2005-01-28T11:35:00.000+07:00

well here's the guy ive spent lots of time with.. i would wake up and he will be the first person to enter my mind.. i would go to school and talk about him the whole day.. i am putting so much effort to know his real nature so i could think about him more vividly.. when i go home after classes i would hook up on th net just to find him and if i do, it would be another blissful episode that i would carry in my sleep..

although i dont understand his native tongue (he's Italian), i still try hard to comprehend his ideas and personal philosophies.. because he loves books, i strive to read things that he is very interested with and try to grab the geist of the text for him.. i even dreamt one night that i was in Florence, his hometown, and we were walking together in their vast grape plantation (their family bussiness is making red wine).. as February approaches, my heart cant help but beat really fast.. its seems i cant breathe and manage to utter a word.. this is my moment.. the final moment where i am put to his ultimate test

people, meet
Niccolo Machiavelli

im now working on my third chapter on my thesis with the topic "Revolution as a Right in Machiavelli" i hope i could finish it before February so i could graduate this March.. please pray for me..

another jayr site?

2005-01-22T11:15:00.000+07:00

when i was bloghopping, i found this site on jayr.. as most peeps know, i am a big fan of this talented guy and belonged to sum group that support him and because of that i was able to know jayr personally.. nagulat ako when i saw another site.. i never knew it existed.. tas i wondered what the site's real intention is.. la nmn message boards or anything.. i dount know if i should join or what.. babaw ba?jologs ko kse nowadays e..

well not much of a new story e.. d2 lang kse ko sa library naginternet.. im still waiting for a new adventure..

my own photo album at last!

2005-01-17T21:40:00.000+07:00

hey.. try browsing at my new photoalbum.. visit www.foxyjheng.multiply.com.. im still fixin sum pix so i havent posted many pix yet.. anyway just try to check this out ayt?

wish bear.. the cutie bear with a rainbow on his chest

2005-01-10T21:38:00.000+07:00

im currently having this love for care bear things.. i saw one pink bear with a rainbow on its chest that is so cute.. but when i saw this quiz.. bakit kya greenyung color?i wanna meet a care bears fan who can help me..

	Wish Bear You are the dreamer of the group and believe that things will all turn out exactly how you want them to be. Your extreme optimism often annoys your friends but they realize that you do have the power to make your dreams come true. You also keep an eye out for your friends, always looking out for them.
*Take the Which Care Bear Are You?* Quiz!**

saddest Christmas

2005-01-04T22:33:00.000+07:00

I felt really bad during the holidays. Can't exactly call it a holiday because of some incident that pushed me to the wall. My entire feelings were disregarded. Its not that I want my dad to suffer his consequences. I just wasn’t the best for my mom. If they would be together and continue arguing and hurting each other, it would be much better if they live separate lives. I love my mom more than anyone in this world and I am so sick and tired of seeing her cry over and over again. I know what my dad wants and he knows how he tries to find a way to get pass it. Im so worn out of this sick cycle. All i wanted was for evryone to be happy. isn't that fair enough? Where did I go wrong?

bagong taon ay magbagong buhay?

2005-01-02T21:28:00.000+07:00

new year new life?i really do hope so.. got tons of problems right now.. school, family, plus a thesis that would depend my life on.. good thing i was able to do my second chapter during the Christmas break.. 2 chapters to go then im off to face my panelists.. un ang scary!

by the way, i was able to get my graduation pics already.. too bad i dont have any scanner.. i wanna post it pa nman.. prang feel na feel ko na yung life after college.. can't believe im gonna finishing schooling na.. im still thinking if id pursue law after ive got enough money for enrollment.. prang this is it.. after our finals its goodbye college life.. ill surely miss many stuffs..

Things Im Gonna Miss
1.our yosi breaks
2.noisy talks inside the library
3.street foods at Asturias Street
4.free internet at the library
5.flood all over UST during the rainy days
6.AB Pax Romana office/tambayan
7.Momo's, The Fort, Cafe Dapits, Almer's
8.Gretch, Ning, Meg, Ynna
9.Don, Niki, Karl, Bry, Lelay
10.our block PHL2

here I go again with this sadness.. now pa lang prang mamimis ko na sila.. hay.. kakalungkot!

TRAPPED

2004-12-08T11:42:00.000+07:00

i am alone.. alone in a very dark room.. alone and crying.. crying for very good reasons.. i cant see the light.. i cant grasp any air.. clutters all around me.. i cant manage to get out.. im screaming.. im struggling.. i have to be strong.. i have to get out of here.. i have to say things that has to be said.. but i cant.. because of the darkness.. because of the clutter.. i feel helpless.. i feel weak.. can somebody hear me?can somebody help me?

tragedy

2004-11-28T11:27:00.000+07:00

this past Saturday was kinda tragic.. i found out 2 shocking things..

1. if you hed been reading my blog.. u must remember Ann.. the girl that held her debut sa Aberdeen?anyways.. she is my bestfriend's sister so i got really shocked when Don told me that she was not found in her room earlier that morning.. Ann is not the type na rebelde and stubborn so i guess she has her reasons for going away.. napagalitan daw ng sobra kya yun.. napilitan umalis.. i wanted to help sana kya lang i dont know all of her friends.. too bad

2. one of my closest friends told me her dark secret.. she got pregnant 2 months ago but had a miscarriage.. too bad she was suppossed to go on with her pregnancy.. la pa support yung boyfriend nya.. it hurts me as well kse she's my friend.. imagine going all through the hospital processes plus paying the entire bill alone.. after she had an operation di man lang xa sinundo ng bf nya sa school.. kawawa talaga.. i want to slap her bf right in his face till it bleeds after she told me that!di lalake mga ganon.. kya nga cla may "balls" pra they could do things that a girl can't do right..? i dont see that poverty is reason behind the guy's irresponsibility.. ang dame kya paraan.. that is if he has the guts to prove he is worthy.. damn those kinds of guys!they'll surely go straight to hell..

2004-11-28T10:27:00.000+07:00

i feel so happy!after a couple of stressed nights, i can now rest my head comfortably on my pillow.. kse may adviser na ko!!!i had spent many nights of figuring out who to choose.. i had the choice of choosing an Ethics prof or an uber-smart-jack-of-all-trades-ultra-nice prof.. i was hesitant at first because people say he was too firm and a perfectoinist as well.. turns out he could be the great help i need for my thesis.. on wednesday i'll be revising for the last time my thesis proposal and i have to get his signature for my conforme.. and im off to writing my second chapter.. next problem..?finishing it before Christmas break.. this traslates to reading tons of Machiavelli books.. gooudluck sa schoolgirl db?

new layout

2004-11-18T07:49:00.000+07:00

ayan change of layout.. im too tired of constantly editing my blog.. kya ayan bago na lang..

well i think its time to get back to reality.. its my first week of going to class.. as in yung totoong class minus the cutting classes and constant "tamaritis".. mukang kailangan na talaga magseryoso this time so im starting to motivate myself more para sipagin pumasok everyday.. besides, this is my last yet hardest sem.. i still have to work on my thesis kya lang til now la pa rin ako adviser.. hay.. hirap ng buhay college!

plus im constantly having a bad case of mood swings kaya i always feel super down and i feel like my social life is dropping to zero.. parang walang friends.. si hon na lang buhay ko.. buti na lang he could still cope up with my insanity..

like nung birthday ko.. i think this is the most quiet birthday i had.. pano family lang talaga and si honey kasama ko nag-celebrate.. unlike the previous years.. gimik or inuman galore.. cguro nga i need to find a new set of outgoing friends para maiba naman takbo ng environment ko.. wait.. here i go with my mood swings again.. talk about PMS!

well.. gotta go to class now.. ciao!

2004-10-26T22:33:00.000+07:00

poem naman para maiba.. i hope "the girl" could get this..
**********

To "The Girl"

I hate you
For being satisfying
For being alluring

I despise you
For being pretty
For being shapely

I spurn you
For being conversant
For being pleasant

Feel my rage
For being seductive
For being attractive

Feel my anger
For being every man's dream
For being every mom's dream

Feel my wrath
For being prominent
For being potent

Feel my ferocity
For being happy
For being wealthy

I fancy you never existed
For breaking my ego!
For being a perfect solo!

2004-10-13T18:31:00.000+07:00

our trip to baguio was finally over.. talk about advanced honeymoon!!!we were so excited the whole time we were on the bus.. both of us can't sleep that much.. we left Manila at 11 pm and arrived Baguio at 4 am.. super lamig!!!
good thing there was this tourism department near the bus station that helped us find a place to stay for the chilling night..

the next morning we had a hard time taking a bath.. the water was freezing cold.. prang galing sa ref hehe!!badtrip pa kse the heater took so much time to warm up the water.. kya un.. we decided to walk around the place to look for a cheap place to eat.. we found this carinderia called Patao.. it has the most delicious arroz caldo at a low price of 18 pesos..
after a super quick bath and a warm arroz caldo we started our Baguio get away.. our first stop was Burnham park.. we were trying to reach some people but we failed coz both of them are still in school.. so we just strolled around and started asking some people how to go to our next stop.. Lourdes Grotto

by the way.. here's our pic shot in Burnham.. we weren't able to bring a "real" camera so i just used my fone.. badtrip pa coz my fone's low memo na.. we failed to take many pictures

we bought some flowers and candles as offerings to the Virgin Mary then off we go for another walk.. after some strolling we went straight to Minesview park.. the view was amazing with matching grilled corn while sight-seeing.. here's a pic.. medjo madilim nga lang.. too bad it rained.. di tuloy namen maciado na-enjoy yung view.. there were lots of stuffs there so we bought our folks some pasalubong..

afterwards umuwi muna kme to get some rest.. at 6 we were at Sm Baguio looking for a place to go.. Hon's cousin told us a place called Avenida.. its similar to Malate daw so we checked it out.. we found a place called Cactus Bar.. the first set was nice kse yung girl dame alam na songs.. but the second set was awful

Hon: tignan mo yung vocalist.. prang action star!
Jheng: oo nga e.. naka leather jacket pa.. sabagay malamig d2
Hon: yung back-up prang si Tom sa Lagot Ka (Berwin Mailey)
Jheng: yung action star prang kamuka din ni Naldy Padilla (vocalist-Orient Pearl)
Hon: yung isa prang si Barney hehe!
Action-Star-Looking-Vocalist: we'd like to say welcome home to Engr. ---!Nasan si Engr?Ayun!San ka pupunta?Sa Iraq?
Jheng: Ano daw?Hon uwi na tyo.. sabog yta yan e..

the next song was Rainbow.. so we decided to stay for the last song.. di nmn pala worth it kse puro wrong grammar.. we headed home to change clothes then kumain ulit sa Patao..

2004-08-29T08:14:00.000+07:00

last Saturday, Ann's debut was held at Aberdeen Court in Makati.. grabe.. color coded talaga.. green kse yung motiff nya so lahat ng tao from his parents to his lolas.. the place was great.. dame din pumunta though not as many as I expected.. masaya rin.. dame song numbers.. pano yung food 830 na dumating.. nagagalit na nga si Tita Babes (their mom) kse di na daw dinner yun.. anyway.. pinakilala sakin ni Don yung bf ni Ann.. na-shock ako!cuteness!!!Justin Cuyugan na kalbo!!!exactly my type!tas boses Paolo Santos.. he sang a couple of songs for Ann & nag-guitar xa ng A Little Bit tas si Ann yung kumanta (Ann is majoring in Music btw)

medjo OP nga lang.. pano andon si Kit.. yung ex ni Don.. shempre mas priority nya yun kaysa sakin.. ang tagal pa dumating nila Niki.. so most of the time magisa lang ako or im meddling with Tita Babes.. pinapakalma ko pag nababadtrip hehe!

when Niki & Bry arrived.. may ksamang mga girlet.. e di lalo ako na-OP db?lahat may partner ako lang wala.. Hon & i were constantly texting kse he's gona fetch me daw.. he arrived mga 11 na.. natawa pa ko sa reaction nya when he first saw me nung binaba ko xa.. prang na-starstruck hehe!! (I was wearing a pink pleated dress with a ribbon on the waist.. pa-gurl nyahaha!)nabadtrip lang ako kse ayaw pa nya pumasok kse daw naka-cap xa.. buti na lang after my part (I was included in the 18 wines) dumating si Jigs.. one of our classmates.. nagkaron na xa ng courage pumasok.. patapos na rin yung ceromonies kya after ko magpaalam sa buong family I changed clothes & we left already..

we were suppossed to meet Bong & Marrie para gumimick.. e di pwede si Marrie so we decided na matulog na lang.. nauwi lang sa kwentuhan at tulog yung gimik hmpf!!!

2004-08-28T10:10:00.000+07:00

ive put lots of hard work to achieve how my blog looks at the moment.. so please.. stop copying my tags.. if u want me 2 help you with html just holla ayt?please stop being a copycat.. you know who you are.. u wont like me when im mad..

2004-08-26T20:03:00.000+07:00

i feel so useless these past few weeks.. pano last week.. sobrang walang ginawa sa school.. tas this week nmn has been soo rainy.. hello?what do you expect España would look like?obviously la na nmn kme class.. kaya yan.. mahabang tulog at last..

badtrip pa.. kse last night ko lang naalala na may perlim paper pala kme sa Aesthetics.. thanx 2 Don.. buti 2mawag pala ko.. i had this sugar rush kaya sobrang bilis nung flow of thought.. imagine finding a relationship between The Passion of Christ, Sistine Chapel, the German notion Geisteswissenchaften (haba noh?pro it just literally mean the spirit of lived experinece) and contemporary Philippines.. i dont how i exactly did it but what the hell!i finished the paper within a few hours that was 9 pages long!yun nga lang walang footnotes pro natuwa talaga ko.. ang bilis ko natapos.. tas naturuan ko pa si Karl (classmate ko) ang saya ko na sana.. i slept without thinking any burden kaya good night sleep talaga.. i woke up at 6am only to find out that classes are suspended.. again.. grrrr!!!

but on the lighter side.. i got to spend a whole day with my honey.. kanina hon & I went to gale.. he's gonna buy kse a new fone at last.. we watched Stepford Wives.. ang cute nung movie.. sobrang astig pa yung mga houses.. sana ganon house nmen pag nakasal na kme hihi! tas i bought this perfect hair clip 4 my dress.. its Ann's debut na sa Sunday.. i hope it'll stop raining kse gigimik pa kme after with Bong & Marrie..

that's it for now.. gotta hit the sack.. ciao!

2004-08-25T08:59:00.000+07:00

imaginary friend.. never thought of that kind of entity existed.. when i was young i thought trees can talk.. really!

Your Imaginary Friend is Sam the Donut. Cheerful,
giving and friendly, Sam is so happy its almost
scary and unnatural. Yes, its that Sam who
hands out your favourite break food to
ungrateful Kyna, yes its the Sam that says
'yes' when someone asks you for help to clear
the compost heap. Undoubtedly, you have awkward
tendencies to suddenly dance and sing in the
middle of the canteen. Well, now you know who
to blame.

Who is your Imaginary Friend?
brought to you by Quizilla

2004-08-24T07:33:00.000+07:00

i've been quite slothful this past week.. bket ba ganon.. everytime im in the mood to go to school it always turns out na nawawalan ng class.. last week i only went to school for 2 days.. that's a monday and a friday.. pano may seminar profs ko sa bangkok tas last saturday nmn it was Ninoy's death aniv.. speaking of aniversaries.. hon & i are a month older.. 4 months na kme yehey!!!share ko lang hehe!

this week nmn was so frustrating.. yesterday, my mum & i went to galeria to buy a dress im gona wear for Ann's (my bestfriend's sister) debut.. kaya yun.. we arrived the house at past 9pm.. i have to pass a lousy slumbook & we still have to prepare for a report in Marriage & Family.. i was left with no other choice but to stay till 3am to finish the slumbook.. then this morning, i sacrificed Chinese philo to go online to research on Friendship.. well that's our report -- the Catholic significance of friendship.. sobrang pathetic talaga!la talaga ko makita so when i found something on the net kinuha ko na lang.. after doing so i rushed to school.. meron pa din kse ko overdue books that i have to return to the library.. pagdating ko sa vicente cruz, meg texted me.. la daw si Prof Jamilla.. WHAT THE FUCK?!nasayang lang lahat ng pagod at puyat ko.. so now ayan.. im left with 2 more absences sa Chinese Philo.. so if ever i commit those 2 im dead.. failure due to absences bagsak ko.. tinamad na tuloy ako pumasok ng Rationalism.. kaya yun.. dinamayan ko na lang si hon sa pag-iisip ng problem nya.. kse dadating ung dad nya e yung fone nya nabenta nya.. magagalit yun for sure.. sobrang badtrip talaga thi day.. hay...

survey na lang ulit.. got this one from friendster..

1.cno pinaka importanteng tao sa
buhay mo?(aside from God nd family nd friends)
> tntnong pa ba yan?shempre si hon noh..

2.ano ang pinaka masakit na nagawa mo
para sa mahal mo?
> so far la pa nmn..

3.pano mo mssbi na mahal mo ang isang
tao?
>pag nagiging selfless na ko ng sobra &
willing to do everything for that particular person..

4.maggwa mo bang magmhal ng 2 tao?
>uhmm.. laging may mas lamang e.. pero that was before pa..

5.would u fight for the one u love or let
him/her go?
>it depends...sure ipaglalaban ko siya sa
family & friends ko.. pero pag
may mahal na siyang iba e siyempre wala ako
magagawa but to let him go as the song of jay-r
goes "kung mahal mo siya ay pipilitin kong di mo
makita na di ko kaya kung mahal mo siya di mo
maririnig sa akin ang mga hikbi dahil mahal kita..."

6.pno kng mdming ngsasabing d kau pwd,
mamahalin mo prin ba xa..? khit xa na ung
ngsbi?
> hay naku.. na-prove ko na khet di pwede.. love would push you to go on..
ive gone through much more than that di ba hon?

7.anong ggwin mo pag umiyak sa tbi mo
ung taong mhal mo?
>e di i'll be his crying shoulder di ako aalis sa tabi
niya I'll comfort him.

8.ngbreak kau pro gs2 p dn nya frends kau
>im not that type.. once its over.. la na talaga..

9.ngawa mo na ba magmhal ng kaibigan?
> yup.. pro di naging kme officially.. mas important kse for me yung friendship e..

10.ano mas mhrap, sbhin s kaibigan mo n
mhal mo xa o itago?
>hindi ko sasabihin pero ipaparamdam
ko...siguro mas mahirap na sabihin na mahal mo
siya

11.ano bang mga nagawa mo pra sa mhal
mo?
> lemme see.. i cooked up a suprise party, i accepted his past whole-heartedly khet mahirap, is trying to love the ppl he loves.. dame pa e.. ask nyo si hon hehe!

12.pno pg cnbihan kng MARTIR/TANGA
anong ssbhin mo?
>ganyan talaga.. ang love bulag na tanga pa.. id rather be a stupid happy person rather than a wise empty man.. (philosophical yan!)

13.kya mo bang mghntay s taong may mhal
ng iba?
> no... may pride pa ko hmpf!

14.ano ang pnkamali n gnwa mo pra sa
mhal mo?
> wala.. i tried to make eveything right kihet alam ko mahirap..

> 15.ano ang mga bagay na nakpgppiyak sau?
> feeling left behind & treated unloved..

16.ano ang gngwa mo pg nglalambing ka?
>nagiging childish.. di ko xa pinapaalis ng house.. gs2 ko lge kme magkasama..

17.ano ang madalas na gwin mo pg mlpit k
s CRUSH mo?
>knikilig..hihi! luv u hon!!!

18.ano ang bagay n kinaiinisan mo s mhal
mo?
>pag nagtatampo tas ayaw sabihin kung bakit xa quiet..

19.anong bagay n ngs2han mo sa taong
mhal mo?
>sincerity, loyalty, he always smells good.. chaka yung ulo nya..

20.ano ang mga bgay n gs2 mong ibgay s knya?
>happiness, contentment chaka baby girl..

21.anong mga hilig mong gwin pra sa mhal
mo?
>surprises... sobrang kinikilig me don e..

22.anong mga sacrifices ang mga gnwa mo
pra s knya?
>accept him as he is khet masaket yung mga nagyare sa past nya..

23.pinaka wirdong ngawa mo pra s mhal
mo?
> ano nga ba?wala yata e..

24.bkit mo mhal ang taong mhal mo ngaun?
>because he accepted the real me.. both the bad & good side.. i can feel his love & he treasures me as much as i do him.. marami pang reasons e.. baka bukas pa ko mtapos magtype nyan..

25.anong gs2 mong sbhin sa knya sa oras na
umalis siya?
> thanx for the feeling of completeness you gave me although we didnt work out

***

tama na.. naiiyak na ko..

2004-08-18T19:57:00.000+07:00

does this mean im a good kisser?hmm. have to ask honey..

You have an entrancing kiss~ the kind that leaves
your partner bedazzled and maybe even feeling
he/she is dreaming. Quite effective; the kiss
that never lessens and always blows your
partner away like the first time.

What kind of kiss are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

2004-08-18T19:56:00.000+07:00

last week had been so busy.. my groupmates and I spent a night at marrie's place to do our thesis proposal.. shempre sinama ko si hon.. his friend, bong, followed at around 10.. nirereto namen un kay marrie e hehe!aun.. as we were doing our work.. nagkayayaan sila mag-inuman.. sobrang funny pa kse si hon yung kinikilig pag nag-uusap yung dalawa.. although kulang yung references ko.. i tried finishing what i can.. good thing about it is that we could ask each other pag may hindi alam although we have different frameworks.. next week nmn pasahan na nman ng requirements.. im actually starting to research to be able to find good references para masimulan ko na..

this week nman was kinda carefree.. la maciado ginagawa and 3 days kme walang class.. its kinda tragic though because of the death of our classmate's mom.. sobrang affected yung buong class.. naawa ako kay bernadette kse she loves her mom so much.. parang xa na lang yung reason kya nakakaya pa nya yung hardships sa school.. i remembered my lola tuloy.. true tht time flies so quickly.. naalala ko tuloy yung isang lesson namen sa Chinesse Philo on Zhuang Zi.. his philosophy on death sounds very practical.. that we must accept death as something natural.. that it is a part of the cycle of life and could never be avoided.. it would be much easier on our part and the departed's to just let go and accept things.. that's quite easy for him to say.. but living in a country where we have closely knit families.. i think that's kinda hard to follow.. to berna.. im so sorry for what happened to ur mom.. be strong for your family.. im just here..

2004-08-11T14:57:00.000+07:00

since im not that busy and my social life is not that active at the moment.. i became very fond of taking internet quizzes.. here's some examples...

got this from patty:
High Heels

What kind of shoe are you?

a personality disorder test.. paranoid talaga ko hehe!

Disorder	Rating
Paranoid:	High
Schizoid:	Low
Schizotypal:	Low
Antisocial:	Low
Borderline:	Very High
Histrionic:	High
Narcissistic:	Very High
Avoidant:	Moderate
Dependent:	High
Obsessive-Compulsive:	Moderate
-- Personality Disorder Test - Take It! --

this one's kinda scary..
The Dante's Inferno Test has sent you to Purgatory!
Here is how you matched up against all the levels:

Level	Score
Purgatory (Repenting Believers)	Very High
Level 1 - Limbo (Virtuous Non-Believers)	Low
Level 2 (Lustful)	High
Level 3 (Gluttonous)	Very Low
Level 4 (Prodigal and Avaricious)	Low
Level 5 (Wrathful and Gloomy)	High
Level 6 - The City of Dis (Heretics)	Very Low
Level 7 (Violent)	High
Level 8- the Malebolge (Fraudulent, Malicious, Panderers)	High
Level 9 - Cocytus (Treacherous)	Low

Take the Dante's Inferno Hell Test

from patty again.. cutie toh..

What Finding Nemo Character are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

im jon's kind of girl hehe!

-Sensitive- You're Sensitive, and you'd like to
stay that way. Sorry,listened to a bit too much
Jewel there. You're sweet and very emotionally
charged. You definitely love the person you're
with, and always want to know how they're
feeling so you can make sure they're happy.

What Kind of Girlfriend Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

ganda girl!san ka pa?

You are a goddess!

Which Ultimate Beautiful Woman are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

2004-08-09T22:43:00.000+07:00

today is st dominic's feastday.. kaya ayan.. la kme class.. eventually, natuloy din bonding moment nmen ni hon.. i cooked my newly discovered specialty.. SOPAS!!!i even asked my mom how to cook a nice one.. we shopped a few things at a nearby grocery.. i chopped the ingredients.. broiled the chicken.. made the timpla.. ayun.. fortunately nagustuhan nmn nya yung outcome nung sopas.. we ate sopas together with matching toasted bread.. the rain was constantly pouring kaya mas feel na feel nmen kumain..

after being so full of sopas, we started getting really sleepy kaya yun.. natulog na lang kme sa room.. no wonder pareho na kme tumataba dahil sa walang tigil na pagkain.. after waking up merienda nmn tapos kulitan.. i showed him my baby pix.. medjo dyahe pro ok lang.. its like really nostalgic.. namiss ko tuloy lola ko.. then after a while mom arrived.. may dalang max chicken chaka pansit.. kain na nmn hehe!parang na-mend yung pagkamiss ko sa kanya the other day kse ganito talaga yung plan nmen gawen sa house nila.. kaya nung umalis xa.. sobrang na-sad tuloy ako.. cant wait to see him again 2morow..

Boracay Baby!

2004-08-09T12:03:00.000+07:00

i know graduation & summer vacation is still a far cry from reality but as early as now, i cant wait for the activities we'll be doing as a class:

1. Retreat
- im still not sure if its gona be held in tagaytay but i'll try to blend in this time.. usually kse di ako tinatablan ng mga reflections and stuff..

2. Graduation Ball
- cant wait for that big party!im thinking of a sheer gown with sparkling details.. not that daring pro nice..

3. Boracay outing
- major summer fun!kailangan makabawi.. pano last summer vacation Bulacan lang chaka Pasig napupuntahan ako.. everytime i go to the mall, i try to look for beach essentials that could possibly work.. im actually thinking of dieting and going to the gym so i could fit nicely in a bikini (yikes!sana kayanin ng powers ko!).. kaya lang naisip ko.. how the hell can i do that e lage me busy sa school work.. nagsisipag na talaga ko mag-aral coz im aiming for better grades.. anyways.. here's some nice beasch stuffs from the net.. im hoping may ganito din sa mall nearby..

Sizzling Bikinis

hot shades

cutest flip flops

beach watch

beach towels

arent this stuffs the cutest?oh well.. reality check.. still have to finish tons of paper work before i could soak up in the sun with nothing to worry about except mt tan..

iyakan moment

2004-08-08T19:37:00.000+07:00

yesterday was supposedly a mjor bonding moment for honey and me.. but it turned out to be a major iyakan moment instead..

the whole day was fine.. he picked me up at school at 430.. mhy, my bestfriend, was already texting me an hour before he came.. magpapasama daw sa mega for her celphone.. then when we were about to buy some street foods at asturias, we saw meg and don.. papunta pla sa cafe dapits for some drinking session.. beacuse of peer pressure, sama nmn kme.. we just fooled around with them for like 20 minutes then were off to megamall.. sobrang nakakahiya kay mhy!we arrived there at about 730 already.. mga 1 hour xa naghihintay don.. i was so excited to see 2 of my beloved people together.. dame kse negative remarks ni mhy before regarding hon's personality.. after finishing talking to the ultimately nonsense attendant at semicon, we finally head for tokyo tokyo for dinner.. ayun na.. mhy started saying nice things about christian.. how nice he is.. how cute her eyes are.. how fuuny he is.. hay naku.. natakot talaga ko.. i thought im gonna be pressured trying to make them like each other.. buti everything turned out fine..

after finishing eating dinner.. hinatid na namin si mhy.. then we saw some affair at megastrip in front of starbucks.. i remembered saturday nga pala.. there was a live band playing tas madame pa tables so we decided to stay for a while.. as expected selosan na nmn sa mga songs.. i'll be played.. e song nila ng ex nya yun.. those rnb songs nmn reminded me of my ex.. kaya ayan.. napaalis kme ng wala sa oras..

when we arrived at their place.. minit ko muna si toni.. the same friend who introduced us to each other.. we talked in front of their house.. uhmm.. medjo matagal din.. kse tagal nmn si nagkita.. even though its raining hard.. kwentong buhay na buhay pa rin!it was hon's tito's bday.. dame nagiinuman sa labas so we have to find some way to enter their house.. parang magnanakaw ang effect nmen.. kunwari we were looking for joan.. yung sis nya.. e nasa bulacan daw.. so we pretended to look for some cd na alam ni hon.. it worked!tapos aun.. kwentuhan to the max na nmn.. sobrang hurting lang nung nagkkwento na sila about their batangas outing.. kasama kse yung ex nya don.. major selos beauty ko!

toni left at around 12 pm.. i was so tired the whole day and i was having a bad case of sudden mood swings because of my meds.. i wanted to go the cr badly pro di pwede kse nasa sala lahat ng tao.. i got really pissed off kse parang magnanakaw talaga yung feeling ko.. so i tried sleeping instead. e ang kulit nmn ni hon.. aun nag-away na kme.. at first irita lang.. then my mood switched to pagiinarte mode.. i started crying and bursting all my tampos.. every problem started sinking in to me.. i just wanted to let all of those feelings out.. so muntik na umabot sa cool off.. pati si hon umiiyak na rin..

he assured me that there's nothing to worry about.. just leave eveything to him.. he's gonna try to find ways to fix everything just to make me stay.. that felt really good kaya napatahan na rin ako.. there's just so many pressures in my life right now that i cant voice out.. kawawa si hon kse para shang shock absorber.. i cant say how much i value him at times pero his love means everything to me..

right now we're good.. sana lang magtuloy tuloy na to.. kse pag daw within this week meron pa din ako mood swings.. itatapon na daw talga nya yung gamot ko hehe!sayang lang kse ang mahal pa nmn nun..

2004-08-07T13:41:00.000+07:00

prelim week is almost over.. still got to finish a mile long term paper next week.. plus i occasionally feel dizzy and barfy maybe because of the meds im currently taking.. im still suffering from the "nakakahiyang ubo syndrome" and i seldom crave for hard to find foods.. NO.. IM NOT PREGGY!im just sick.. i feel so much unexplainable pressure nowadays.. maybe because of my studies everything seems to get affected.. just thinking of doing my thesis about Machiavelli and Philipine Revolution makes me wanna faint.. i just wish i could focus more on my social life and stop procrastinating when i have to do important things..

FLASHBACK ON HON'S BDAY

2004-08-03T10:51:00.000+07:00

i was organizing my fone yesterday and realized that i havent posted his bday pics.. well though its too late i'll still put it here for you peeps to see..

the bed

the jacuzzi

the cake

the kilig moment

BEING MISERABLE & SICK

2004-08-02T10:39:00.000+07:00

its my prelim week and i was almost absent the whole past week.. i cant manage to organize my social life and my studies at the same time.. i miss my honey everytime im not with him.. but whenever he's around, i cant focus on my school works.. hay.. ang hirap..

yesterday i was terribly sick.. maybe due to the sudden change of temperature or maybe because of stress.. (btw, hon brought me food the other day.. may fruits, juices chaka arroz caldo.. sarap ng feeling na bine-baby!) today, i forced myself to attend my classes coz i'll be having my prelim exam in Marriage & Family later this afternoon.. ayan still havent reviewed that much.. after school i'll be heading straight home to finish my written report on homosexuality..

cguro kaya ako nagkasakit is because of my busy sked at school.. my past week was so tiring because of paper works and reports.. i spent the whole week sleeping in the fx bound for school.. muka talaga kong miserable.. pano i was only able to steal like 3 hours of sleep then i have to wake really early the next day to meet my paper's deadline.. ayan.. nagkasakit na tuloy ako..

the demands of a senior philosophy student is really high.. im actually thinking of taking vitamins to boost my health.. sakiting bata kse talaga ko.. tapos next sem i'll be focusing on my thesis.. actually im starting to do it little by little but i still have to find someone to be my adviser.. none of the political philo profs seem to be interested in Niccolo Machiavelli.. sayang.. tapos ko na kse yung framework.. feeling ko pa i'll flunk in my Chinese philo class.. alm mo yung feeling na even though you studied you still wont pass dahil mahirap talaga?that's how i feel every quiz.. tas im always late or absent pa.. its now slowly sinking in to me.. pano kaya pag nag-law proper na ko.. kayanin ko pa kaya?

oh well.. gotta go back to my busy day.. have to beat my katamaran to be able to graduate.. excited pa nmn ako sa grad ball chaka bora trip with the class.. hopefully i would go up the stage with them.. eun.. still have to finish reviewing for my exams.. ciao!

inis na inis na ko!

2004-07-20T09:03:00.000+07:00

cant manage to fix my blog.. di tuloy me makapagpost.. everytime i try to go online, nauubos lang yung time fixing my layout.. sobrang naiinis na ko.. lapit na ko magpalit ng templ8.. if there's anyone out there who can help me.. pls magparamdam ka.. if i cant fix this b4 prelims, im afraid i have to stop blogging na.. wawa ako.. =(

SURVEY...

2004-06-23T20:06:00.000+07:00

still havent done fixin my blog so ill just post this survey i got from vayie's friendster bulletin board..

ANG UNA KONG INIISIP PAGKAGISING KO AY
pwede bang wag muna bumangon...

ANG UNA KONG GINAGAWA PAGKAGISING AY
nagwiwiwiw

PAGKUMAKANTA AKO SA BANYO, KINAKANTA KO AY
if i aint got you..

HINDI AKO MAGALING MAGLUTO PERO EXPERT AKO SA
PAGLULUTO NG..
tuna omelette at fried chicken

KAPAG WALA AKO MAGAWA AKO AY
nagyoyosi...

KAPAG NATUTULOG, MADALAS KONG NAPAPANAGINIPAN
si hon.. yihee!

KAPAG NAKAKAKITA AKO NG PAGKAIN AKO AY
nagmamatakaw!

NAIIYAK AKO KAPAG
feeling ko wlang nagmamahal sakin..

NAIINIS AKO KAPAG
walang dough..

NATATAWA AKO KAPAG
may nagjojoke or may comeding nangyare sa taong di ko kilala..

NAGAGALIT AKO KAPAG
may nakakairitang pasaway..

KINIKILIG AKO KAPAG
may sobrang sweet na ginawa for me...

ALAM NIYONG TINAMAAN NA AKO KAPAG
nag-eenglish ng derecho.. alm ng lahat yan hehe!

ALAM NIYONG BADTRIP AKO KAPAG
yosi nang yosi tas di na nagssmile..

ANG PANGARAP KO SA BUHAY AY
magkron ng stable job, taong 22ong nagmamahal sakin, my own car

GUSTO KO SA PASKO AY
nokia 7200 chaka 10k na pangshopping!

MAYABANG NA KUNG MAYABANG PERO
at least 22o ako..

HINDI KO MAINTINDIHAN KUNG BAKIT
mahirap ang pinas khet nagbabayad karamihan ng tax

NALOLOKA/LOKO AKO KAPAG
sobrang walang magawa

KAPAG LAHAT NG MASAMA AY NANGYARI NA ANG
MASASABI KO NA LANG AY
end of na world na cguro..

OKAY NA SANA KASO NGA LANG
tlgang imnjot good enuf

GUSTO KONG
matapos mag-philo tas makapag law

PERO HINDI KO MAGAWA DAHIL
di pa tapos 1st sem

KAPAG MAY PERA AKO, BIBILI AKO NG...
lahat ng gusto ko na matagal ko na pinagiipunan

GUSTO KO I-ADD SA FRIENDSTER LIST KO SI
AB guard chaka si mang tootz..

ANG PALAGI KONG INIISIP AY
pano kya ako magkakapera ng malake..?

GUSTO KONG KAUSAPIN
si gma.. dame ko gusto itanong sa kanya..

AT SABIHIN NA
cant you do anything to make the country better?
ekonomista ka pa nmn tsk tsk..

GUSTO KONG SAMPALIN SI
_r_c__ tangina nun e..

ANG HULI KONG PINAIYAK AY SI
ex bf ko..

DAHIL
iniwan ko dahil babaero

PAG NILAPITAN AKO NG TAONG GUSTO KO, ANG GAGAWIN
KO AY
magpipigil.. baka magalit si hon..

LAGI KONG IPINAGDADASAL NA SANA
God would continue blessing me & the ones i love although ive been a bad girl

KUNG AKO ANG LILIGAWAN, GUSTO KONG MAKATANGGAP NG
makabagbag damdaming love letter with matching flowers

MAPAPATAWAD LANG KITA KAPAG
lumuhod ka sa harap ka or pag kumanta ka ng ipagpatawad mo while im crying

MALALAMAN MONG MAHAL NA KITA KAPAG
blooming ako chaka i become really attached & concerned in everything you do..

Jlo-Marc Anthony Wedding?

2004-06-07T11:45:00.000+07:00

i can't believe this news!

JENNIFER LOPEZ has done it again! Last year's runaway bride married newly divorced Latin singer MARC ANTHONY in a surprise wedding late Saturday afternoon. White tents were erected in the singer's Beverly Hills backyard over the weekend and classical music could be heard playing. Sources tell ET Anthony arrived at the nuptials with Lopez's mother, GUADALUPE. Monday on ET, we'll have wedding photos from the hush-hush ceremony!

In full wedding regalia, including an elegant, full-length gown and white umbrella, Lopez walked down a rose-petal-strewn aisle. About 40 guests watched as the couple exchanged vows under a flower-covered bridal arch. Lopez sparkled from head to toe. Diamonds graced her hair, and she wore diamond earrings, a necklace and bracelet, while Anthony sported diamond cufflinks. Guests then entered the party tents to sample the catered fare as echoes of big band music filled the air. When contacted by ET, Lopez's spokesperson, ROB SHUTER, would neither confirm nor deny that Lopez and Anthony had indeed tied the knot.

This is the third marriage for Jenny from the Block, who was famously engaged to BEN AFFLECK last year before calling off those planned nuptials. She and Anthony first dated in 1999 and rumors that they were back together began again when the twosome were spotted dining together after the Golden Globe Awards, just five days after her very public split from Ben, and only weeks after Anthony's ex wife DAYANARA TORRES filed for divorce from their 3-1/2-year marriage. Just last week, Anthony was granted an even speedier split from Dayanara in the Dominican Republic.

*****************************************************************

tama ba nmn to!e ang panget ni marc anthony noh!sana dati pa during their "No Me Ames" duet days nagkaron na ng issue.. dahil lang ba sa over expossed na sila ni Ben she has to do this?hay naku.. ang gulo talaga ng utak ng idol ko!

honey's day

2004-06-04T23:00:00.000+07:00

well.. after so many sleepless nights and a million possible ideas, hon's birthday bash was over.. we had so much fun and i think he had a blast just seeing the surprise i prepared for him..

i rented a pad complete with a queen sized bed and a jacuzzi to match.. i covered the bed and the warm jacuzzi with red and white roses.. while i filled the place with 50 tea light candles to complete the mood.. i even went as far as katipunan to buy him a personalized yet reasonable cake.. it was a red heart shaped one with a white icing outlining it and a blue happy birthday honey on top..

good thing i was able to finish my letter earlier because when i arrived at the place, it was already past 8 pm and i still haven't started decorating the place.. the heavy rain made it difficult for mhy (my best bud)& i to get a cab in the middle of katipunan.. and my pink dress got so soaked up in the rain not to mention the brown mud spots at the back.. i still went home to change into something not so sweet and headed straight back into the place..

he got there just when i was about to write his card.. he was greatly amazed by the sight of the place, hugging me over and over.. we ate dinner and soaked up in the jacuzzi while telling each other how thankful we are for having each other.. it was a really tiring yet rewarding day.. just the thought of making him happy and overwhelmed in what i did made me happy as well..

MASAKIT NA UTAK KO!

2004-05-31T14:53:00.000+07:00

i've tried to think of every imaginable surprise to brighten up my honey's day yet nothing seemed to work.. i've asked a million people ideas and suggestions to inspire me but most of them told me i shouldnt be this stressed out coz he'll surely appreciate anything i give him or do for his bday..

my 1st plan was to suprise him by going to his house at 3 am to cook a special birthday breakfast which he would eat in his room filled with baloons and roses.. all was set but he told me that he don't want his family to get involved with the plan because he wanted them to meet me when his dad arrives and not on my own..

the second plan is to fetch him in his office and carry 21 balloons and 24 pieces of roses.. problem.. my friend won't let me drive in makati all by myself.. of course i dont want him to be our driver.. bad idea..

the third plan was to eat dinner, cooked by me of course, in a rooftop of a building.. problem was my friend's dad didnt aprove of the plan..

the fourth plan.. im still figuring out how i can do that coz i only got a maximum of 2500 bucks.. (lack of money - this is one of the things that suck during summer!)i dont think that's enough but im still trying to push it though..

my last and most desperate plan is an essay where i stated 21 reasons why i love him.. coz he always ask me why i love him.. i dont really think he would appreciate this kind of stuff coz i know he's not the reading type but if i dont make my 4th plan to work, i guess i left with this..

so please.. if anyone get to read this.. can you please help me think of a good yet practical gimick.. im only left with 3 days.. i just want his special day to be memorable in order for him to feel how much i love him.. pretty please?

NICEST SONGS

2004-05-30T12:43:00.000+07:00

cant get enough of these songS.

"If I Ain't Got You"
Alicia Keys

Some people live for the fortune
Some people live just for the fame
Some people live for the power
Some people live just to play the game

Some people think that the physical things define what's within
And I have been there before, and that life's a bore
So full of the superficial

Chorus
Some people want it all
But I don't want nothing at all
If it ain't you baby
If I ain't got you baby
Some people want diamond rings
Some just want everything
But everthing means nothing
If I ain't got you

Some people search for a fountain
That promises forever young
Some people need three dozen roses
And that's the only way to prove you love them

Hand me the world on a silver platter
And what good would it be
With no one to share, with no one who truly cares for me

Chorus

If I ain't got you with me baby
Nothing in this whole wide world don't mean a thing
If I ain't got you with me baby

"Burn"
Usher

[Intro]
I don't understand why
See it's burning me to hold onto this
I know this is something I gotta do
But that don't mean I want to
What I'm trying to say is that I-love-you I just
I feel like this is coming to an end
And its better for me to let it go now than hold on and hurt you
I gotta let it burn

[Verse 1]
It's gonna burn for me to say this
But it's comin from my heart
It's been a long time coming
But we been fell apart
Really wanna work this out
But I don't think you're gonna change
I do but you don't
Think it's best we go our separate ways
Tell me why I should stay in this relationship
When I'm hurting baby
I ain't happy baby
Plus theres so many other things I gotta deal with
I think that you should let it burn

[Chorus]
When your feeling ain't the same and your body don't want to
But you know gotta let it go cuz the party ain't jumpin' like it used to
Even though this might bruise you
Let it burn
Let it burn
Gotta let it burn

Deep down you know it's best for yourself but you
Hate the thought of her being with someone else
But you know that it's over
We know that it's through
Let it burn
Let it burn
Gotta let it burn

[Verse 2]
Sendin' pages I ain't supposed to
Got somebody here but I want you
Cause the feelin ain't the same find myself
Callin' her your name
Ladies tell me do you understand?
Now all my fellas do you feel my pain?
It's the way I feel
I know I made a mistake
Now it's too late
I know she ain't comin back
What I gotta do now
To get my shorty back
Ooo ooo ooo ooooh
Man I don't know what I'm gonna do
Without my booo
You've been gone for too long
It's been fifty-leven days, um-teen hours
Imma be burnin' till you return (let it burn)

[Chorus]
When your feeling ain't the same and your body don't want to
But you know gotta let it go cuz the party ain't jumpin' like it used to
Even though this might bruise you
Let it burn
Let it burn
Gotta let it burn

Deep down you know it's best for yourself but you
Hate the thought of her being with someone else
But you know that it's over
We know that it's through
Let it burn
Let it burn
Gotta let it burn

[Bridge]
I'm twisted cuz one side of me is tellin' me that I need to move on
On the other side I wanna break down and cry (ooooh)
I'm twisted cuz one side of me is tellin' me that I need to move on
On the other side I wanna break down and cry (yeah)

[Breakdown]
Ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh oooh
Ooh ooh oooh (can ya feel me burnin'?)
Ooh ooh ooh oooh ooh oooh

So many days, so many hours
I'm still burnin' till you return

[Chorus]
When your feeling ain't the same and your body don't want to
But you know gotta let it go cuz the party ain't jumpin' like it used to
Even though this might ruin you
Let it burn
Let it burn
Gotta let it burn

Deep down you know it's best for yourself but you
Hate the thought of her being with someone else
But you know that it's over
We know that it's through
Let it burn
Let it burn
Gotta let it burn

2004-05-29T22:56:00.000+07:00

at long last i finally figured out how microsoft frontpage works.. ayan.. my blog looks much better.. less cluttered.. christian has been ranting the whole day coz i was so busy fixing stuffs for my blog.. tama ba namang pagselosan ang blog?by the way, the unimaginable just happened a while ago.. their fone line has been cut due to sky high unpaid bills.. ayan.. wawa si hon.. he's constantly running to a nearby store to use a pay phone just to call me..

these past few nights, i slept late and woke up early the following day.. my head is constantly thinking of something sweet yet practical gimick to brighten up my hon's special bday.. that's already on tuesday (jun 3) and so far, i haven't come up with anything solid yet.. i just hope Plan D would work.. if you got any good idea please let me know alrighty?that would really be a great help.. its been a very tiring day indeed.. well got to hit the sack now and start the thinking again..

2004-05-26T12:34:00.000+07:00

BOREDOM AT ITS BEST

got nothing to do.. again. i just finished cheking our class' yahoo group.. konti nga lang yung nagpopost.. eun.. may aalis na naman daw.. its so sad kse we've only got one year left tas may mawawala pa.. i was also browsing our past uploaded pics.. ayan nasenti tuloy ako.. this made me realize how fast time flies.. parang kailan lang bagong salta kame sa USTe tas next sem (hopefully)graduation na nmen.. i remember our play days.. grabe that was one of the hardest yet rewarding experience our class had went through..

naisip ko rin.. pano kaya kme ni hon pag may class na.. kse he's working tas ako for sure magiging busy rin sooner or later.. chaka graduating stud na ko.. di na pwede yung palitaw sa class.. i have to be active sa pagpasok.. di na pwede tatamad tamad sa paggising.. baka di ko na maulit yung pag-cut ng class para sa luvlyf.. hay..

2004-05-20T15:37:00.000+07:00

MONTHSARRY NA NAMEN TOMORROW!!!

nilalagnat ako today.. ang badtrip pa d2 sa house kse ang ingay tas ang gulo sobra.. di tuloy ako makapag-rest.. khet san me pumunta may magulo.. kaya yan.. naisip ko na lang mag-post..

kse nga monthsarry na nmen tomorrow so we're surely gonna go out.. khet umulan o umaraw 2loy celebration namen.. although may work pa xa and may sakit pa ko go na go pa rin..

everything happened so fast.. 1st week of april lang pinakilala xa ni toni saken.. we managed to get by through texts and phone calls then we eventually got really close.. tas di ko na namalayan, we already fell for each other.. its feels like we had been together for years now.. cguro kse we're both so open pag nag-uusap.. as in no secrets talaga.. nakwento ko na yata sa kanya half ng buhay ko kaya more or less wala na ko itatago sa kanya.. he patiently listens to every detail kahet minsan inaantok na xa or naiirita na xa pag about na nmn sa ex ko yung story..

APRIL 21: i'll always remember the day for on that day, i gave him my broken heart.. i wasn't quite sure if its good enough or not.. i had so many hesitations at first coz i came from an painful relationship and i had fears of getting hurt again.. he helped me realize there's more in life than reminiscing my past.. and that life is good -- i deserve to love and be loved in return..

im so lucky to have you and i wont trade anything in the world for you.. hon, thanx for coming into my life and for making me happy again.. i love you so much!

2004-05-17T11:20:00.000+07:00

I MISS MY SCHOOL, I MISS MY CLASSMATES, I MISS MY FRIENDS!

PHL2 Class during our Christmas Party

its been a while since i last went to school and that was during our clearance day.. are class had planned some summer get away but unfortunately nothing pushed through due to conflicts with the people's schedule.. pano most of us are going home to our provinces to stay for vacation.. kaya yan.. my summer is the most boring and unproductive time of my life.. all I do is pig out and connect to the net to pass the time.. kaya ayan.. ang taba ko na damn it!kakainggit pa yung ibang peeps kse they got some tan and was able to go out of town for outings and swimmings.. e ako.. Bulacan lang ang nararating ko.. tapos sa ancestral house lang.. as in no happenings whatsoever..

i miss going to school.. yung mahirap na pagsakay ng fx sa tanghali.. yung paglalakad sa mainit na kalsada ng Vicente Cruz St.. yung pagyoyosi sa tapat ng tindahan ng mga accessories sa Dapitan.. pagkain sa Momo's at ang all time favorite na Liza's at Cely's pag walang dough.. pagnenet ng one to sawa sa lib.. pagpunta sa Roadtek at Mom's pag may ipapass na paper..

i miss my classmates.. ang page-english ni Jan.. ang "Budhisam" at showbiz chismax ni Berna.. mga kwentong Kyla ni Angel.. stories na buhay ni Nico.. mga corning hirit ni Niki na nakakatawa sa kakornihan.. usapang basketball at pulitika ng mga boys.. pagka-rnb prince ni Lelay.. kikay talk with Cha and Ate Di..

i miss my friends.. kakulitan at pagmamaganda ni Meg chaka yung pag-bully nmen kay itim baluga na crush ni Ning.. sarcasms, kilig moments at tawang wala nang bukas ni Marianne.. kababuyan ni Ning chaka yung paglagay nya ng kalachuchi sa tenga na napupulot nya sa mga puno papuntang lib.. spirit of moonflower sa leeg ni gretch na ang sarap amuyin chaka yung mga caricatures nya ng mga prof pag boring na yung class.. yung pagyoyosi nameng apat sa Dapitan khet alam nmen na naiirita na si Ning.. panglalait nmen sa mga tao na parang kme lang talaga yung anak ng Diyos.. advises ni Don chaka yung pagsabay ko pauwi pag wala si Kit.. hay...

sana June 1 na.. para enrollment na.. kaya lang i have to be careful in what i wish for.. i know its a tough semester ahead kse nga its my senior year na and we have to start preparing for our thesis.. i have some proposals na.. the one we passed last sem for Sir Pao's class.. but im not yet ready to endure another huge task.. so for now, i have no other option to pass the time kaya ayan.. papagandahin ko na lang cguro yung blogspot ko hehe!

oo nga pala.. my kuya Noli's son was baptized yesterday and my kuya Jeff went there kse ninong xa.. there's a little celebration sa house ng wife nya sa Nueve Ecija and all my kuyas went there together with my tita, Patrick & Pipoy.. of course they have all these stories.. hay.. sana sumama pla ko.. actually i was planning to take hon with me kaya lang naisip ko di pa alam ng mga tao na boyfriend ko na xa.. so i decided not too kse i think its too early para i-hot seat xa ng mga kuya ko hehe!ang aga kse umalis ni kuya.. imagine waking up at 6 am.. e hello?kakatulog ko lang kaya non!as in gising pa ko nung nagpe-prepare na xa.. fucking insomnia!andame ko na tuloy pimples lalo..

2004-05-16T22:21:00.000+07:00

Do we really have to look in the past to mend up the present and get to the future? This thought circled my weary head last night. Because of some lame friendster account, the argument as to whether I still have feelings for my ex recurred resembling a deja vu. Never had I imagined losing Christian and I know I could never afford to find someone like him again. I am sure that deep inside myself I dont love my ex anymore, but my past still haunts me similar to a poltergeist that would never give me restful nights. Closing an almost 1 year of serious and memorable relationship is one of the hardest things I did. Jey-ar's memories can never be replaced by anyone else and I consider it a treasure in itself, but I at last realized I have to move on. Not for Christian but for me. I know my honey only wants the best for me and I feel so stupid for disregarding his feelings and concerns. Having wept a million times and acting a stupid fool just to ease the pain, I think this the appropriate time to let go. I want to stop living in the past along with making ways to work myself closer to the one who loves me. I must just face the awful truth that not all good things last -- that I have to put an end to reminiscing the times of yore. My life has to go on sans all the memories, be it delightful or depressing. I want to, once and for all, put an end to sighing and disheartening every time I dredge up our past.

Well Hon if you get to read this, I just hope you'd still believe me when I say Im making an effort to mend up for the lost trust. Im irrevocably saying my goodbyes and just letting bygones be bygones. You are my life now and I never regret anything that happened between us although we both know everything happened so fast. I long for an enduring relationship that would take us both to something deeper and more significant than just any typical promise of love. No words are enough to say every thing that flies around my wits every single night I think of you. You dont have any idea how much I care for this relationship and how hard I am trying to work things out. I dont care if I'm about to win or lose in this game of love, but believe me Im risking it all just to make you stay. Never have I felt so sure in my judgment so Im just hoping for the best. I love you so much honey...

2004-05-14T13:32:00.000+07:00

last tuesday, my honey and i went to tapika in katipunan to unwind.. my friend, thor has a regular gig there.. supposedly, we're going out with his friend and his girl but unfortunately, alain has an exhibit to attend to so we decide to go by ourselves.. the music was really good and since the drink prices are cheaper we gulped down some..

thor's first song was "Just Friends" by Music Soul Child.. i remember the good old JAY-R gig days.. i was suddenly into a trans going back to our happy, single days with my friends.. i really miss hanging out with those girls coz the last time we saw each other was during Jay-r's major concert.. we never got the chance to go out coz there's not much gig skeds nowadays..

**********************************************************************
here are some pix of our JAY-R gig days.. hay... i really miss the days!

(Left-Right)Boogie(my high school friend), me, tisha & dorothy

Thor, Jastine, me, Tish, Duncan of Southboarder & Joanne

Jerwin, Tish, Joanne, Sherwin of Myxtreme(jay-r's band), me, Jastine, Jay-r & Tita Geleen's driver (e1 ko ba kung bkt nsma xa sa picturan!)

(clockwise) Earl, Jayson(moderator ng Jay-r Online), Chie, Apple & me

the only jayr pic left in my fone after it had a MMC error and erased every image gggrrrrrr!!!!buti na lang qt si crush d2!
**********************************************************************

all those rnb tunes brought back different memories from my past.. some happy, some hunting.. when "Without You" played, i almost froze.. i started to focus my attention in lighting one cigarette to another to get over the feeling.. that song was my ex's sort of farewell song for me and i hated the feeling of reminiscing him.. i know very well that he's gone and nobody could do anything about us anymore.. its just that i cant help to remember the times we were still together.. and i fucking hate it..

i am currently happy with my honey and i can never be thankful enough for having someone close to my ideal guy.. i know he still doubts me when i tell him i dont love my ex anymore but i can't blame him though.. i know the feeling where the one you love think of somebody else.. but im trying my best to show him that my ex is really out of my life and im on the verge of completely getting him out of my system.. i just wish his memories would stop haunting me everytime.. well hon if you get to read this, please believe me when i say your my life now.. i dont care whatever odds we are in and will be encountering in the future.. i love and im so down for you

2004-05-10T17:59:00.000+07:00

ELECTION DAY!
hay naku.. kala ko pa naman magiging memorable ang 1st ever voting experience ko.. excited pa nmn ako.. i thought something interesting may happen.. la pla.. dun lang kame bumoto sa clubhouse ng vilage.. JOLOG!!! pero in fairness mapayapa ito.. dame lang damatonga ever na di makita yung precint number nila.. holler!ako ba yung new voter o kayo?nyways.. imbyerna sa naglagay ng indelible ink sakin.. sabe ko 1 drop lang.. aba ang lolo mo tinodo ang pagtaktak ng tinta sa mailinis kong index finger.. kaya ayan.. mukang nagpapatawa yung kuko ko.. isa lang ang blue.. yuckie!

buti na lang nagpasama si mudra sa libis para magpafacial.. nadamay ako sa kalandian kya nakalibre ng food.. hehe!sayang lang kse di ko makikita si hon 2day.. its because of this fucking weather.. di 2loy me pinayagan.. mahirap daw magcomute and stuff.. inintindi ko na lang ina ko khet miss ko na si honey.. ayan til now tuloy sa text lang kme nabubuhay.. hay.. what a day!

2004-05-09T14:34:00.000+07:00

sup y'all?am just trying this crap out coz i cant afford to let all these thoughts to myself.. plus the fact that im too bored at home.. i have no social life and i pity myself for having a very pathetic summer.. i havent gone to the beach yet or anywhere else besides bulacan and pasig..

good thing i still have my honey to keep me sane.. im actually starting to miss him even though we just went out yesterday.. too bad i cant go out right now coz its fucking raining!i really hate rainy days!gggrrr!!!!